


Nobody's Hero

by orphan_account



Category: Black Veil Brides, Warped Tour - Fandom
Genre: Angry Sex, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Black Veil Brides - Freeform, CC Coma has a Sister, Drinking, Drunk Dialogue, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Miscommunication, Not Beta Read, Teenage Drama, The Author Regrets Nothing, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-27
Updated: 2016-05-15
Packaged: 2018-04-28 11:58:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 40,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5089895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I’m 16 years old now, and I still live with CC. Mama Coma emancipated me last year, when CC wanted me to move to a smaller house in town with him.  “I want to keep an eye on her.” He had said. The caseworker was right about one thing, though. CC doesn’t hate me. He’s like a brother to me, and he’s the most amazing brother anyone could ever hope for. I’m sitting in Mama Coma’s old chair in mine and CC’s new living room, the one that Mama Coma carried me to 12 years ago, the one that CC taught me to read in, the one where I learned to tie and double-knot my shoelaces. I’m just sitting there, staring blankly at the wall, not even really thinking, just… spacing off. My knees are curled to my chest, my black hair falls around my face, over my blue eyes, kind of pooling around me, if hair could pool. I hear the sound of crunching gravel outside, a car’s engine dying, scuffling boots on the walk, and CC thumps through the front door, home from band practice. “Hey, Wolfie.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Flashback

I was four. I sat on my bed, not fully understanding the situation set in front of me. “Why can’t I see Daddy?” I asked the man in a suit in front of me, tears in my eyes. “Where is he? Is he with Mommy and Dawson?”

The man fidgeted with his lapel. “Well, honey, your Mommy was very sick, so we had to send her to a better hospital. Dawson went, too, to keep her company.” He started. 

He was lying. I knew he was lying. Daddy had told me that Mommy and my little brother were both dead. I remembered it, last night, when I came downstairs. Daddy was on the couch, his head in his hands, crying. There were beer bottles everywhere, one in his hand, and tears were streaming down his face. Daddy NEVER cried. “Daddy?” I asked slowly, trying to figure out what was wrong. “I forgot to say good night to Mommy and Daw.”

He looked up at me through puffy, bloodshot eyes, and reached out his hand. “Oh my god, baby girl, oh my god.” He choked, pulling me into a tight hug. “You look so much like her. Mommy is… Mommy’s dead.” He buried his head in my shirt, holding onto the four-year-old me like I was a life raft in the middle of an ocean filled with sharks. “Dawson’s dead, too, Loralei.” After that, he broke into a bunch of blubbering gibberish that I couldn’t understand. Tears sprang to my eyes, and I grabbed onto his neck, burying my head in his shoulder. “But it’ll be okay, you hear me?” He asked finally, trying to reassure himself as much as me. “It’s just you and me now. We’ll all be okay.”

I snapped back to reality, where the man in the suit crouched next to my bed. “Your daddy, well…” He started, but I cut him off.

“Daddy’s dead, too, isn’t he? And Mommy and Daw and everyone. They’re ALL DEAD, AND YOU’RE LYING!” I started crying, throwing anything in my reach at him. “LYING, LYING, LYING, LYING!”

“Okay, okay, Loralei, you’re right.” He said, fending off my bombardment of pillows and stuffed animals and thin books. “Your mommy and Dawson are dead, and your daddy… Well, he died, too.” He grimaced as he said it. “We’ve come to help you, I promise. We’re bringing you to Mrs. Coma’s house. Remember Mrs. Coma? You and her son, Christian, will get along well.” 

I shook my head, clutching onto the last bear that I hadn’t thrown. “CC hates me.” I said, feeling very small and empty. “He’s 13, he’s basically a grown up!”

“I’m sure that’s not true.” The caseworker said, reaching a hand to the side of my face. I slapped it away, turning towards the wall so he couldn’t see my face. “Lora, honey, I’m sure Christian doesn’t hate you.”

“Yes he does.” I sat on my bed as a few more men and women in suits filed into my room, picking up my things and packing them in boxes. “Chrissy doesn’t like me. He called me a brat.” 

Despite my protests, they had me and most of my stuff on Mrs. Coma’s porch three hours later. When the man in the suit knocked, she answered the door quickly, tears in her eyes. “Oh my god, Loralei!” She said in a whispery voice, and I ran into her arms. It felt nice to have something familiar, even if it was just Mommy’s best friend. “You poor baby, I’m so sorry! Come inside, please, and we’ll have these nice men take your things to your room.” She sent a glare over my shoulder at the men, who quickly picked up boxes and suitcases and bags, hustling up the stairs in a single-file line. I kept hold of her neck and she picked me up, carrying me into the living room, where she sat down in a chair, me still on her lap. “I’ll take good care of you, okay baby?” She murmured into my hair. “I won’t let you get hurt anymore.”


	2. Back to Reality

My father committed suicide. Bullet to the head, that’s where he went. I’m 16 years old now, and I still live with CC. Mama Coma emancipated me last year, when CC wanted me to move to a smaller house in town with him. “I want to keep an eye on her.” He had said. The caseworker was right about one thing, though. CC doesn’t hate me. He’s like a brother to me, and he’s the most amazing brother anyone could ever hope for. I’m sitting in Mama Coma’s old chair in mine and CC’s new living room, the one that Mama Coma carried me to 12 years ago, the one that CC taught me to read in, the one where I learned to tie and double-knot my shoelaces. I’m just sitting there, staring blankly at the wall, not even really thinking, just… spacing off. My knees are curled to my chest, my black hair falls around my face, over my blue eyes, kind of pooling around me, if hair could pool. I hear the sound of crunching gravel outside, a car’s engine dying, scuffling boots on the walk, and CC thumps through the front door, home from band practice. “Hey, Wolfie.” He says, smiling at me as he hangs up his keys. 

“Hi.” I say in a very small voice, muffled by my knees. “How’s the band?”

“We’re doing fucking awesome!” He crowed, grinning as he took off his jacket. “We just figured out another song, and it sounds killer. We’re gonna try to get another album out soon, before Warped Tour.”

“That’s in, like, 8 months.” I pointed out, rolling my eyes. “You’ve got plenty of time.” 

“Do not rush the Black Veil Brides.” He quipped, smirking and ruffling my hair. “We need plenty of time.”

I fixed my hair with my fingers as he went into the kitchen, grabbing a chocolate muffin and heading upstairs to his bedroom. “The guys are coming over later!” He called down the stairs to me. “Hope you don’t mind.”

My eyes widened as he said this last bit. THE BAND was COMING OVER. Since when did their parties happen at our house?! Our house is a disaster! I leapt out of my chair, running up the stairs to pound on CC’s door. “Like, the entire band?! For a party? We don’t have anything ready!” I gasped, staring in shock at his door. He opened it just as he was pulling a fresh shirt over his head and running a hand through his black hair. He’s what any other girl would probably be drooling over, but… he’s my brother. That’s just weird. I was immune to the CC Charm that I saw so many other girls fall under. “We don’t have food, drinks, we don’t even have a microwave yet, CC, what are you thinking?!”

He laughed, moving back down the stairs. “Ashley’s got the drinks, and Andy’s mom always makes a shitload of food. We’ll be fine, Wolfy, it’ll work.” Shock registered on my face. “YES, all four of them are coming. ALL FOUR. Gasp. So many people.” He smirked, shoving dishes into the dishwasher. “I’m sure you’ll survive, Loralei, be a little more spontaneous.” 

I rolled my eyes, restacking his haphazardly-loaded dishwasher. “But the point is that we’re never ready for any of your last-minute shit.” I sprinted into the living room, where he had begun piling newspapers and old mail in the center of the coffee table. I quickly sorted through his piles, throwing away the old mail and putting the papers in the recycling. “What if I had plans?”

He stopped and turned to me. “Do you have plans?” he asked quickly, staring me dead in the eyes.

“Uhm… no…” I stuttered, throwing the last of the papers into the recycling.

“Exactly.” He said, smirking and moving his path of disaster to our tiny basement. “I know my baby sister. You don’t have any plans on a Thursday night, even in the summer.” He has a point, and I cringe, following him down the steps. “Anyways, when you do have plans, they’re not at the house. You’re usually at Juliet’s.”

Again, he was right. Juliet Simms was my best friend ever, a drop-dead gorgeous singer, and also happened to be crushing on the same guy as I am: Andy Biersack, lead singer in CC’s band. I know, that makes my brother’s parties pretty awkward, and it also makes things between me and Jules a bit stretched, too. “Yeah, but what if I HAD plans? That’s my point, CC, you should ask me.”

“Nah.” He grinned, pushing a bunch of guy shit off of his pool table and clearing the floor, shoving all the stuff into a few side closets. “There, the house is clean, see?”

I rolled my eyes, but decided not to argue it further. “I’m gonna go up and change.” I said, heading back up the steep stairs.

“Yeah, have fun.” He said absentmindedly, trying to find the 8 ball for our pool table. “Now, where the fuck is that little black motherfucking ball fucker?”

I went into my room, picking out a pair of grey skinny jeans, my favorite Oscar the Grouch t-shirt (Yes, I know. I’m a five-year-old who still wears Sesame Street), a grey beanie and boots. I strapped on a couple bracelets for good measure, and fixed my makeup so I’d look as fierce as always when everyone got here in… 20 minutes. Shit! I had to fix my eyeliner and everything still, plus brush my hair. Fuck, fuck, double fuck. I rushed through my makeup, fixing the tiny wings on my eyeliner and putting on a darker shade of lipstick. I brushed my hair, hairsprayed it, and then ran a comb over it to eliminate any obvious signs of hairspray, all before checking myself in the mirror. Great. I look great, I feel great, and… There’s a car turning into the drive. Just in time. I headed back down the stairs, getting to the entryway just as Ashley and Andy stormed in, followed by Jinxx and Jake. All four of them were laden down with food and beer, and Ash was already yelling. “CC, GODDAMNIT, GET YOUR LAZY ASS UP HERE!” He crowed, setting down a case of Bud Lite before turning to me with a smirk. Other girls would’ve melted, I just crossed my arms and shook my head. “Hey Loralei, you’re looking pretty vicious today!” He said, adjusting his black leather cowboy hat and grinning.

“Thanks!” I said, smiling back. “You’re looking… Pretty much the same.”

He laughed. “Good. Same is hot.” He purred, and winked before running down the basement steps to harass CC some more. 

I rolled my eyes before turning back to the other three. “CC’s down there.” I said, helping grab food from them and put it on the kitchen counter. As soon as Jake and Jinxx had dropped off their portion of the food, they ran down, but Andy stayed up top with me for a while longer. My heart thrumming in my chest, I lay out trays of barbecue chicken wings and pizza pockets, all the while watching him out of the corner of my eye. “What’s up, Andy?” I managed, as I had taken off the last square of tin foil.

He shrugged, a smile hidden just beneath the surface of his face. “I dunno…” he said. “Are you sure you don’t need help with any of the food?”

“I don’t think so.” I said, before reconsidering. “Actually, could you help me take some of this down to the basement? That’s where I see you guys staying for most of the night.”

He nodded, wordlessly grabbing two trays and starting for the stairs. I followed him with a tray of pizza pockets and a case of beer, being careful not to drop it on my descent, but mostly watching him on his way down. Holy fuck, he was hot. WAIT. I shouldn’t be thinking this way about one of my brother’s friends. We put the food down on a workbench and the beers in a cooler, and Jake cheered, grabbing a beer and popping the cap. “To Loralei, for bringing it to me!” He crowed, taking a long drink and grinning.

“To Loralei!” Ashley seconded, grabbing his own beer and downing half of it in one drink.

“Oh god.” I said on the way back up the stairs. “This ought to be fun.”

Andy shook his head, laughing. “We’re all pumped up about making a new album, so they expect me to write most of it with a hangover.” He had grabbed his own beer, but chose to drink it in the living room. “They’re all too loud, and I’ve got a headache.” He explained, sitting on the couch while I curled up on the opposite side, a cup of hot chocolate in hand. 

“I’m sorry.” I sympathized, kicking off my boots and bringing my knees to my chest. He shrugged it off, taking a little sip of his beer. “If you have a headache, why’d you come?”

“Ash.” He explained. “Ash came and dragged me here. But that’s okay. I mean, there’s a couch, and there’s food. What more could a guy want?”

I laughed, turning on the TV and flipping to an episode of The Flash. We both watched it for a while, me sipping my hot cocoa, Andy drinking his beer and going back down for a second before the episode was over. We made small talk about the episode, watching while Barry Allen rushed around and tried to hide his secret identity from Iris, the love of his life who was in love with another. Very stereotypical, really, but still amusing, especially to Andy in his borderline-drunk state. As soon as the credits rolled, Ashley came busting through the basement door and into the living room, a half-smirk on his (admittedly sexy, but not my type) face, his cowboy hat crooked and his black shirt unbuttoned. “Loralei…” He purred, before turning towards Andy, bumping into the doorway and giving it a very stern look before walking through it to sit between us. He smelled like somebody’d poured a beer over his head, but that was just from how many he’d drank. “Andy. Come downstairs with us and drink like a man, little boy! Bring your guh… guhrl-friend.” He slurred, sending me a conspiratorial wink.

Andy sighed, laughing. “No, you go back and yell at CC or something.” Andy shook his head at Ashley, who was continuing to make suggestive faces at me until Andy said something. “You’re fucking drunk, man.”

“No I naht!” He slurred again, standing up and grinning. “I can prove… Prove it. Watch.” He attempted to walk in a straight line, and only succeeded in falling over our coffee table, barely catching his head before it hit the floor. “Shit. Andy, why’d you push that table at me? Fuck, I thought we were… friends, you asshat!”

Andy guffawed. “Ass… hat?” He asked, shaking his head at Ashley’s amusing names. “That’s the best you got? Asshat? Is that even a cuss?”

“Yeah, it’s a bad one.” Ashley said, pushing himself up and off the coffee table and nodding solemnly. “A fucking bad one. I’m gonna… go take another shot.”

“Another WHAT?!” Andy said, horrified. “God, Ash, you guys are gonna make yourselves sick! Fuck! Shots on top of beer?”

“Yep!” Ash hiccupped, grinning and walking back down the basement steps, clutching at the railing for dear life. 

I followed him down the stairs, lest he tripped and fell. I mean, when he’s this drunk, even the mighty Ash might slip up. Luckily, he didn’t, but Andy nearly did, tripping over a pair of CC’s boots left on the stairs and almost falling onto me. “Holy shit!” He yelled, grabbing onto the railing right before he would’ve hit me, then laughing. “Sorry, Loralei.”

“It’s alright.” I laughed, walking down the stairs and getting into the basement. As soon as I hit the room, the smell of beer, whiskey, and moonshine hit me so hard that I almost gagged. “Holy fuck.” I whispered, looking around and seeing Jake, Jinxx and CC all playing beer pong on our pool table, with a tarp and a piece of plywood over the top so as not to hurt our felt. Jake took a haphazard shot, bouncing it off the rim of the front cup. “You guys! CC, you’re cleaning all this up in the morning!”

Upon hearing his name, CC turned to me and his whole face lit up in a huge grin. “Wolfy!” He said, holding out his arms. “Where’ve you been? Here, take a shot! Ash brought this shit, it’s the best!” Fuck. He’s even drunker than Ashley! He never let me drink, EVER. So, what the fuck, I might as well take advantage of it. Just one shot, right? I smiled slyly, taking the shot and sniffing it. It smelled like… Whiskey. I decided that it was probably whiskey, and with a backwards glance at Andy, downed the shot in one gulp. CC cheered, grabbing me in a sloppy, sweaty hug. “That’s the spirit!” He crowed, slapping me on the back, but holy hell, that shot burned going down. I coughed once before grinning, standing up straighter. “Jinxx, Wolfy here can drink!” 

Jinxx hooted, cheers-ing himself with his own beer, and taking a drink. “So can I!”

Ashley laughed from his position sprawled in a chair. “I told you ’e was a party guhrl.” He slurred, adjusting his hat and smirking at me.

Andy shook his head, a half-smile on his face. “You’re all insane.” 

“It was just one shot.” I reminded him, smiling sweetly. “CC never lets me drink, so just one.”

“Sureee…” He rolled his eyes, smiling, just as Jake crashed into him.

“Andy!” He said, grinning, his eyes wild. “Here, take one!” He passed Andy a shot as well, but Andy shook his head. “Noooo, party pooper.” Jake said, and just as Andy was about to answer, Jake dumped the shot in his mouth. Andy coughed and spluttered, but ended up swallowing it, and Jake crowed. “I did it!” He cheered, running away and hiding on the other side of the pool table. “Jakie, 1, Andy, ZEROOOOO!”

Andy glared at Jake, rolling his eyes and wiping his mouth, but not saying anything. CC seemed to get an idea then, and came and put one hand on Andy’s shoulder and one hand on mine. “Hey, guys.” He said, smiling like an idiot. “Wanna play a game?”

“Depends” Andy asked, trying to get out of CC’s grasp. “What game?”

“Beer pong.”


	3. Later That Night

Andy ended up playing, and so did I. We won, of course, but we still ended up drinking more than we probably should have. My head was fuzzy by the end of the game, and I felt on top of the world. Andy, too, was far past drunk, wobbling around and laughing at everything. He came up behind me and put his arms around my waist, almost stumbling into me, a laugh bubbling from his throat. “Hi, Loralei.” He slurred softly in my ear, his breath smelling like whiskey and beer. 

I put my hands over his, laughing as I turned to face him and almost fell over. “Andeh…” I garbled back, and he suddenly leaned in and kissed me. His kisses tasted like whiskey, and I sloppily kissed back, mostly finding his face and not his lips. Jake, Jinxx, and Ashley hooted and hollered in the background, cheering and whistling as he did. CC had long since passed out over the pool table, and he didn’t even stir when everyone started yelling. 

“You’re… really pretty.” Andy said as he pulled away from me, smiling, his eyes unfocused.

“You’re really pretty, too.” I replied, a straight face. Ashley laughed, and I turned to him. “Shut your mouth, you… You…” There was only one word in my mind. “You asshat.” 

Ashley laughed, falling over onto the couch in the corner. “Naw I’m thuh asshat?” He raucously shouted. “That makes you and Andeh… Two asshats!”

Andy laughed and so did I, and then I got an idea. I rushed up the basement stairs and back into the living room, turning circles on the landing but forgetting what I had come up for. Andy came up behind me, his eyelids heavy, and put a hand on my shoulder. “Loralei…” He said, probably louder then he needed to, and smiled tiredly. “I’m tired.”

Suddenly, I felt the pull of my eyelids and felt very heavy and tired, indeed. “Me too.” I slurred back, stumbling into him and grabbing his hand. “Let’s… go to beddy bye.”

We walked up the stairs to the second floor, and I opened the door to my room, Andy following me. I took off my pants and my bracelet, and Andy took off his (He’d already lost his shirt somewhere downstairs), and we both crawled under my covers. “Nighty night, Andeh.” I murmured as he slid into bed next to me, his arm over my side.

“Night, Lo… Loralei.” He whispered, but I was out when my head hit the pillow and asleep before he finished his sentence.


	4. The Next Morning

I woke up with my head pounding, and rolled over with a groan. I rolled into something soft, something… warm, and I opened my eyes in shock. This, as it turned out, was a bad idea, and I shut my eyes quickly, grumbling at the light as it sent a piercing pain through my head. I tried again, squinting through one eye while the other stayed shut to figure out what the warm thing in my bed was. What I saw shocked me more than it probably should have: Andy, his face slack and peaceful, his black hair spread on the pillow next to where my head had been. Truthfully, I almost screamed, but I caught myself before I did. I tried to sit up, to walk the three feet to the window and shut the curtains, but sitting up sent a fresh wave of pain through my head and I moaned, holding my head in my hands as I forced myself up and to the window, throwing the curtains shut with a vehement passion before crawling back into bed next to… Andy. I mean, I’d always liked him, sure, but I’d never even dreamed of sleeping with him! Okay, maybe I’d thought about it a few times, but… never mind. Had we, uhm…? No, definitely not. I’m not that stupid, even when I am drunk. I hoped. 

He stirred gently next to me, but my head was pounding so hard that I didn’t even have time to think how cute that would have been to non-hungover me. I just held my head, curled up into a little ball, hissing at the idea of having to get up eventually and deal with light and people and walking and opening my eyes. It hurt enough to do that once, and I’d only gone three feet. But I couldn’t fall back asleep. I just lay there in misery, my head pounding and my back being warmed by Andy, on the verge of moaning again at the sharp jabs of pain that throbbed inside my skull. “Holy fuck.” I heard Andy whisper next to me as he slowly woke up, his hand going to his head as he let out his own groan of pain. 

I painstakingly rolled over to face him, and he appeared just as shocked as I had at discovering him in my bed, but soon came to the same conclusion, that shock during a hangover hurts too bad to be shocked for more than a second at a time. “Fuck.” He said again, his voice thick. “Loralei.”

“Andy.” I whispered back, and he cringed at the noise. 

“Don’t be so loud.” He whispered. “My head hurts.”

“Mine too.” I assured him quietly, and rolled out of bed to use the bathroom. Opening my door, I forgot the rest of the world had light, and I hissed, covering my eyes with my hand. “Shit.” I seethed, feeling my way along the hall to the upstairs bathroom. After I used it, I saw no point in going back to bed, so I decided to go downstairs to see who else was awake.

It was brighter downstairs, because of the bay windows in the living room, and I hissed at those too, shutting the curtains on them. I stumbled to the kitchen sink, taking a drink, and then made my way to the basement, where the smell of booze and beer nearly made me gag. CC was still passed out on the pool table, Ashley was on the couch, Jake was flopped on the ground, and Jinxx was curled up under the table, using Andy’s shirt as a pillow. I shook my head, leaving the disgusting-smelling room as soon as I could, and going back upstairs to my bedroom, where Andy had managed a sitting position. My head was sending spikes of pain through my skull so hard by then that I had to lay back down, and flopped across my bed, moaning, before realizing I had just walked around the entire house in my Oscar the Grouch t-shirt and black bikini briefs. Andy growled again, laying back down before whispering. “Shit. Did I really drink that much?”

“Dunno.” I answered, holding my head. “I think I did.”

“Shit.” Andy repeated again, sitting up again and stumbling into his pants, then opening my door and, like me, hissing at the light on the landing. “Fuck.” 

He stumbled downstairs and I followed him, holding onto the railing. By the time we got down to the living room, CC was just stumbling up the stairs from the basement, his head in his hands, not looking up. He growled low in his throat as, I’m sure, pain spiked through his head with every move, and he stumbled into the living room, sitting on the couch before noticing me and Andy. “Fuck.” He said as way of a greeting. “This hurts.” I nodded, curling up in my chair and holding my head. “I need to eat something.” He said, looking slowly around.

“You’re hungry?” Andy said, perplexed, as he flopped down next to CC on the couch.

“No.” CC answered, standing and quickly sitting back down. “Let’s walk-of-shame it to Denny’s.”

We actually ended up calling Denny’s and seeing if we could bribe one of their workers to do delivery. We could, it turns out, but only because he was “Bored,” and “Business was slow.” Plus, as he put it, “I could use the extra money.”

CC basically ordered 6 king-size breakfasts, fully knowing none of us would eat much of it, and paid an extra $10 for the kid to deliver. By the time it all got here in its Styrofoam-y glory, the rest of the guys had trickled up from the basement, holding their heads and cursing at everything: Moving, light, being awake, having a head, you know. The usual. My head still pounded, and I didn’t open my eyes until CC shoved a pancake in my face, with eggs and sausage and hash browns on the side. “You’ve got to eat.” He said quietly, and I opened my eyes, hissing at the light. “I know it hurts, but you’ve got to. It helps.” I believed him, and picked up a sausage, bringing it to my lips and biting into it. I instantly knew this was a mistake, and moaned as soon as I swallowed it, trying to set it back down. “No.” CC insisted, as I saw the rest of the guys trying to force food down their own throats. “Eat all of it.” 

I took another small nibble, but I could barely swallow it, almost gagging as it went down my throat. Nothing tasted right. “I can’t.” I whispered hoarsely, shutting my eyes again. “Maybe later.”

In a few minutes, I had fallen back asleep in the chair, and when I woke back up, everyone had left except for CC. He was sprawled out on the couch, awake, but with his eyes closed and his arm over his face. “Ow. Holy shit.” He whispered as he took his arm off his face and winced in the dim light. “Wolfy? You awake?” I grunted in response, and he took that for an affirmative. “We should try to eat again.”

“No.” I mumbled into my elbow. “Not now.”


	5. A Few Days Later

It took nearly two days for my hangover to go away, same with the rest of the guys. Upon walking up to my bedroom, I had found a note shoved under my pillow. It was written in kind of blocky handwriting, folded up small and placed there. “Call me someday.” It said, with a number listed under it. “~Andy”

O. M. G. Andy left me his number. Wow. OMG. Okay. I’m okay. I called him as soon as I could (Today, when my hangover went away). I shakily picked up my phone and dialed. 555-1529. He answered on the third ring, his voice deep and… no. I’m not thinking that way. Okay, yes I am. Sexy. His voice was sexy. “Hello?”

“Uhm, hi, Andy?” I stuttered. “It’s Loralei. I found your note.” 

He laughed. “Lo, hi!” I could hear him grinning. “I’m glad you found it. I was wondering how long it’d take you.”

“I’m surprised you remembered to leave it.” I retorted. “With you being such a drunk asshat.”

He broke out in uncontrollable laughter. “Oh my god, Ashley’s cuss.” He finally managed, still laughing. “That fucking weirdo. Asshats. I mean, really?”

“Apparently.” I replied, laughing along with him. “Personally, I just think Ashley’s cracked.”

Saying that brought a new wave of laughter over Andy, and once he quieted down again, finally stopped laughing, he seemed to get an idea. “Hey, Lo, are you busy tonight?”

My heart stopped. I mean, BAM, done. Was he asking me on a date?! “No…” I replied, trying to keep my cool. “Why?”

“I dunno…” Andy replied. “I had fun hanging with you the day before yesterday. I was wondering if you wanted to do something tonight.”

Doing things was what friends did, right? Andy’s my FRIEND, stupid fucking brain JUST. A. FUCKING. FRIEND. No, not a fucking friend, not like a friend I fucked. Just a friend. Friends do things together, and that’s what we were going to do. “Yeah, sure. When?”

“Is 6:00 a good time for you?” He asked, and if he was having remotely the same thoughts as me, then he wasn’t showing it through his voice. I hoped that I wasn’t either.

“Yeah, 6:00 works” I replied, smiling even though he couldn’t see me. “Where are we going?”

“Dunno yet.” He answered. “Places, I guess.”

I laughed. “Alright, see you tonight to go PLACES.”

“Okay. Bye, Loralei.”

“Bye… Andy.”

Before he hung up, I heard him let out a nervous sigh of relief. Okay. So I wasn’t the only nervous one here. WAIT. Did that mean that Andy… liked me? Like, what. The. Fuck. Why are things so confusing?! I glanced over at the clock. FUCK. It’s already 4:00. I don’t have much time! But… I don’t want to look like I spent two hours getting ready to go out and do things with my friend Andy like friendly friends do with their friends. I ripped through my closet, pulling out a pair of black skinny jeans, ripped at the thigh, knee, and calf, a dark purple Of Mice and Men shirt with Squidgy front-and-center, my knee-high black boots, a few bracelets, little dark garnet earrings, and my cross necklace that CC had given me, with Black Veil Brides engraved on the reverse. Oh, can’t forget my tight-fitting leather jacket. It was a midi, not quite reaching my waist, but I liked it like that. Then, I went to do my makeup. I fixed my hair, fluffing it and hair spraying it until my fringe was semi-inflated but not too big. Then, I put on my (admittedly pale) foundation and powder, then eyeliner, mascara, eyeshadow, and a semi-dark shade of lipstick. I smiled at myself in the mirror, embracing my fierce look before donning my Jack Skellington beanie and checking the clock. The LCD display read 5:30, half an hour before Andy came. I double checked the faux-spats closure on my boots, making sure the laces underneath were done and all the snaps snapped and polished to shine like brass, and then went downstairs, where CC was sprawled out on the couch. “I’m going out tonight.” I said casually, grabbing a chocolate-chip cookie off of the kitchen counter.

CC looked at me, doing a double-take. “Well, whoever you’re going with, hope they can keep up with that fierce girl right there.” He said, grinning at me.

“Actually,” I said. “It’s Andy. I don’t know what we’re gonna do yet, but he invited me out. As friends.” I said, reading the skeptical look on CC’s face with an eye roll. 

“Sure, friends.” He repeated, that unconvinced look not falling off his face. “You dress like… like that… for friends.” 

I finished my cookie, sending him a glare. “What? I like to look good for myself, too, you know. Just say it. ‘You look great tonight, Wolfy.’ Say it, I know you’re thinking it.”

“Alright, you do.” He replied, smiling at my forcefulness. “But I’m also afraid that Andy will think that. Actually, I know he will. Don’t do anything stupid, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, okay.” I replied trying to shake off the fact that he thought I looked THAT good. “Whatever, DAD.”

CC grinned at me, getting up to ruffle my hair before I stopped his hand. “Hairspray.” I said simply. “Don’t mess it up.”

“Mrowr.” He said, laughing and settling for punching me lightly in the shoulder. “But I’m serious. Don’t be an idiot. Don’t let Andy be an idiot, either.”

“I won’t.” I said, and then there was a knock at the door. My eyes widened. “Can you get that?” I asked, running upstairs. “I forgot my wallet.”

I found my little black and purple purse, stuffed my wallet and a few other things inside, and then came down the stairs, where I could hear Andy and CC talking in the hall. “Yeah,” CC was saying. “I gotta get over it. I mean, she’s not a little girl.” 

Andy laughed. “What are you, her dad?” He asked teasingly.

“Worse.” CC grinned wolfishly. “I’m her brother.” I rounded the corner then, pulling down the back edge of my beanie. “Hey look, there she is now.”

Andy’s eyes went wide and his jaw momentarily went slack as he took in my outfit, and then quickly recovered himself. “Hey, Lo.” He said, smiling.

“What’s up?” I asked, pretending like I hadn’t seen his momentary hesitation. “Ready to go places?”

“Yeah, let’s go!” Andy said, still trying to regain his composure. “The real question is… are YOU ready?”

I laughed, cocking my hips and striking a pose. “Do I look ready?” I asked in a classic Gerard Way pose – Hands to the sky, one leg out, head thrown back. 

Andy laughed, too, and so did CC. “You look ready, Wolfy.” CC said, slapping me on the back with a grin. “Have fun.”

CC practically shoved us out the door, grinning before shutting it with a resounding slam. Andy laughed, hand absentmindedly running through his adorable black hair. NO. Friends. We’re FRIENDS, goddammit, friends. I’ve got this. Grinning sheepishly, I looked up at him through my fringe. “Where to?” I asked, turning to face him while walking down the steps.

He shrugged. “I still don’t know.” He answered truthfully, getting into his car. He owned a… nice car… I don’t know cars that well. I think it was a Camaro, but don’t take my word on that. I mean, it’s not a Prius, it’s not a Mustang, it’s not a ’67 Impala, and it’s sure as hell not a Model T, so count me out on knowing what it was. It was navy blue, it was a car, and it belonged to Andy Biersack. I slid into the passenger seat – leather – and dropped my purse on the floorboards – clean – buckling up as Andy did the same. He put it in drive and pulled away from my house, heading for downtown. “Let’s go walk until we find something.” He said, shaking his head at his spontaneity. 

I grinned. “I like the idea. Street punk meets emo meets random teenagers. It’s got class.” That earned a laugh, which made my grin bigger in the pre-sunset light. I still couldn’t wrap my mind around the idea that I was sitting next to Andy Biersack, in his car, going out with him. Okay. We weren’t going out, like Going Out. We were just… going. And the places that we were heading were… out. Of my house. Going Out (of my house) with Andy. That’s what I was doing. After I had calmed down from the original shock of getting into his car and fangirling over him like an immature 12 year old (Excuuuussseee me, I’m 16. Big difference. I fan-teenager, thank you!), I realized what he had playing in his speakers. “Oh. My. God.” I said over the music, grinning. “I LOVE EVANESCENCE!” I was practically hopping in my seat, my grin stretching from ear-to-ear, as my hand shot to the volume knob and turned it all the way up, me screaming the lyrics as I did so. Andy laughed, joining in, but it was definitely me that was louder. “You don’t remember me, but I remember youuuuuuu! I lay awake and try so hard not to think of you! But who can decide what they dream, and dream I dooooooooo! I believe in you, I’ll give up everything just to find you! I have to be with you to live, to breathe, you’re taking over meeee!”

As soon as the song ended, I turned the volume down, breathing hard, grinning my head off with Andy laughing next to me, pulling into a parking space downtown, in the main lot. “You’re quite a singer, Lo.” He said as he stepped out of his car. 

I got out, still grinning. “Thanks.”

“No. I mean it.” He was still smiling, but it had turned a touch more serious. “You can, like, scream, and that’s so cool. I haven’t heard many girls who can scream like that.”

“Thank you!” I said, blushing, and a triumphant smirk spread over his face as he saw the color run to my cheeks. 

He grabbed my hand suddenly, pulling me across the street to the side lined with shops. “Let’s do something!” He said, walking backwards to look at me. “What have you always wanted to do?”

“I… I don’t know.” I said, looking around, still breathless from singing my heart out and then running across traffic. “We could…”

“Go to the park and play? Exactly what I had in mind.” He cut me off, a mischievous smirk on his face as he pulled me up the street and across another road to this little rickety children’s park I hadn’t been to since I was maybe ten. It was all as I remembered it: The steel slide set up in the corner, a swing set for 6, a merry-go-round that was covered in faded reds and blues and yellows, a jungle gym made of steel cubes, and a fireman’s pole thingy that came down through the middle of the cubes. All in all, it was nothing special, but it brought back a flood of memories. I grinned, and Andy seemed to realize he was still holding onto my hand. He dropped it awkwardly, then walked the distance to the merry-go-round. “Care for a… spin?” He grinned wickedly, hopping onto one of the triangles and motioning for me to get on the one opposite him. I did, of course, grinning my head off, and he smirked right back. “Ready, Lo? Hold on!” He warned, still smirking, and then started running frantic circles, holding onto one of the middle bars, bringing up so much momentum that when he hopped on, it kept spinning and spinning, and he let out a crow of joy, his hair flying freely in the vortex swirl of the merry-go-round. 

“This is so much fun!” I shrieked, holding on to two bars so tight that my knuckles turned white, but my mind was whirling. My beanie flew off while we were spinning, and I screamed, my smile huge as I watched it flit to the ground before the whirling ride took me away from where it had landed. As it started to slow down, Andy laughed, letting go of the bars and holding his hands out wide, feeling the air whoosh around him. He crowed with joy again, his eyes sparkling as he looked up at the stars and what a swirl the moon seemed to have turned into, before he suddenly stuck his foot out and dug it into the ground, bringing us to a shrieking halt. “What’d you do that for?” I asked, but I couldn’t even give him a stern look, because even though we had stopped, my mind was still whirling and I couldn’t see straight.

“Try to walk a straight line with me.” He insisted, using the bars of the merry-go-round to stand up shakily. I did the same thing, stumbling over to Andy, and we tried to walk a straight line. Before we had gotten five steps, I tumbled sideways into him and we collapsed in a heap on the ground, laughing. “Best. Merry-go-round ride. Ever.” He insisted, still chuckling, and I leaned my head into his chest to try to stop the world from spinning.

I giggled breathlessly before I realized what I was doing. Friends lean on one another, right? But… do friends think about how good their friends smell? Do friends think about how they could stay this way, on their friend’s chest, for forever? I don’t think so. But I did. “That was awesome.” I insisted, still trying to stabilize the world until HE PUT HIS ARM AROUND ME. RED ALERT, RED ALERT, BRAIN GOING INTO MELTDOWN. Andy’s ARM. Was ON MY SHOULDERS. And he was laughing in my ear, a breathless, unguarded smile on his face, the same smile that was echoed on mine. “I should find my hat.” I said, not making any effort to stand on my wobbly legs, my traitorous heart doing backflips in my chest, my entire consciousness focused on his arm on my shoulders, memorizing it’s weight, how evenly and naturally it seemed to fit into the smalls of my muscles, the way his hand hung limply along the side of my arm. 

“Yeah.” He seconded, also not getting up, his eyes focused on mine. “We should.” 

“Yeah.” I echoed softly, lost in his baby blue eyes, their warmth, their severity, their softness. The world had finally stopped spinning, and now it felt like it was revolving around us, everything centered on Loralei and Andy, centered on Wonderland Park, centered four feet from the merry-go-round, centered on lost smiles and warm looks.

He blinked and his lips pursed gently, seeming to make a decision before he moved forwards, pressing his lips to mine. Yeah, there it was again, that shock. The “RED ALERT!” feeling that had just ran out of my brain had only left to grab a couple million friends and return greater and grander than ever, having a parade all over my brain. My eyes stayed wide in shock for a minute before I even realized what was happening and kissed him back, but only for a second, before he pulled away and opened his eyes, smiling softly at me. “Lo?” He said quietly. “Will you go out with me?”

Welp, there it was. Remember how I had said that we were going out (of my house) and not Going Out (on a date)? Well, I might have lied. Andy, that sneaky bastard, bringing me on a date without me even knowing it. I nodded in the dusky darkness, before answering in words. “Of course I will.”

“Really?” He said, smiling. I nodded. “Great!” He helped me to my feet, his smile turning into a full-blown grin. “That’s really great, Loralei.”

I nodded again, giggling as I realized how long we had been holding eachother’s eyes and looked down. He hadn’t let go of my hand, so we walked hand-in-hand to the other side of the ride and grabbed my beanie off the ground, shaking it off to get the wood chips off of it as we walked over to the swings and took swings next to eachother. We kicked off at the same time, and I pumped my legs with a leer, trying to swing higher than Andy. As soon as he realized what I was doing, his eyes sparked and he smirked, and the challenge was on. He pumped his legs as hard as he could, and was soon swinging an easy foot above my head with a grin. “Okay, you win!” I yelled breathlessly, jumping off the swing at its highest point forwards and rolling out of it, watching as he tried to jump out of his and land on his feet, but his leg buckled underneath him and he laughed. “That’s what you get,” I said, laughing, “for trying to be a showoff.” 

“Ow.” He laughed, standing up and dusting off his legs. 

We walked out of the park then, side by side and hand in hand, laughing and joking as we did so, walking the long way back to his car. We cut through the residential district, where the streetlights had already flickered on and illuminated our path a weird yellow glow. Apparently we were laughing too hard, because somewhere on Columbia Street, an old lady jumped off of her porch with a start, her fist in the air. “Goddamned kids, don’t you know what time it is?!” She cursed, her grey, curly hair hiding her vicious hazel eyes. “You should be home, not out here screaming your heads off! I’ve had it with your generation, you lousy no-good…” She faded off as she went inside, grumbling to herself, and causing me and Andy a new fit of laughter as we rounded the corner back to his car. 

I slid into the passenger seat again, and he into the driver, and he started it up. The car roared to life, and his clock read 9:45. “I guess I know what time it is now.” I said, winking at him, and he laughed.

“I’m hungry.” He decided. “Let’s go get something to eat.”

He drove off, and turned into a little restaurant around the corner that served the best Chinese food, all day, every day. “I love this place!” He grinned, hopping out of his car the second that the engine died. “My mom and dad used to take me here when I was really little!”

I cringed as Andy mentioned his parents. “That’s… nice.” I said, the happiness rushing out of me. My parents. I hadn’t missed them this badly in a long time, or Dawson, either, even though I hadn’t met him. Daw would be 11 by now, but he… wasn’t. Mom would be 45, Dad would be 48, but they weren’t, either. They were stuck at newborn, 24, and 27, forever, and here I was, 16, their daughter, aging and moving along without them. 

Andy realized he’d struck a nerve when I didn’t get out behind him, and he opened my door, squatting down next to the car to be on eye-level with me. “You okay, Lo?” He asked, concern creasing his brow, and then his eyes widened. “Oh fuck. Parents. I’m so sorry, Loralei, I shouldn’t have said that.” 

He rested a hand on my thigh. There goes my brain again, cutting through the fog of my sadness. ANDY ALERT ANDY ALERT CUTENESS OVERLOAD BRB GONNA DIE. My brain exploded internally, but only for a second before the whole parents issue flooded back in front-and-center. “No, it’s okay.” I said, assuring myself as much as him. “It’s just… yeah.”

“Yeah.” He stood up then, grabbing my hand and pulling me with him. “Still wanna eat?”

“Hell yeah!” I grinned, and he didn’t let go of my hand while we walked in. Or while we waited to be seated. Or while we ordered and waited for our food. And it was amazing.


	6. Even Later That Night :3

After we had gorged ourselves on chow mein, pork fried rice, and egg rolls, we got back in Andy’s car to drive me home. The music was turned down, playing softly through his bass-y stereo quality speakers, and I smiled. Today had been a great day, all in all, and DID I MENTION THAT ME AND ANDY ARE DATING? Like, wow. Okay. I might be fan-teenager-ing again. But, as we drove home, he was generally quiet, eyes on the road with an occasional sideswept glance at me out of the corner of his eye. Every time he caught my eye I smiled, and he smile-smirked back in that absolutely heart-melting way that he had perfected, still not saying a word, just enjoying the silence. We drove up the street where CC and I live, Killion Ave, and that’s when he finally started to talk again. “Uhm, Lo?” He asked, his deep voice startling me after such a long period of silence. “This was fun.”

“Yeah.” I replied, smiling at him. “It was. We have got to do this again sometime.”

And here comes his smile-smirk. “Agreed. How about tomorrow?”

I laughed, tapping him on the side of the head. “Patience, grasshopper. I’ll call you.” 

He pulled up to my house then, tires crunching on the gravel, and I opened my door, sticking one leg out to leave. “Wait, Loralei.” He said, grabbing my wrist. I turned to him, a questioning look on my face. “Goodnight.”

I laughed. “Night, Andy.” I got out of his car then, smiling, and shut the door. “Bye!” I called, jumping up and down a little in the chilly March air, and he honked as he pulled out, a hand waving out his window. 

I smiled, laughing to myself, and practically danced up the steps and into the house. “CC!” I called. “I’m back!”

“Come here, Wolfy!” he called to me from somewhere in the back of the house. I followed his voice to find him, half sticking out of the back closet, on his hands and knees. “You’ll never guess what I found in here!”

I laughed at seeing his hind end sticking out of the closet, one leg stretched behind him, one supporting his weight. “What?” I asked, and he emerged from the closet, cobwebs and dust stuck in his hair, a huge grin on his face. “What is it? Tell me!”

CC’s grin morphed into a smirk. “Guess.”

I crossed my arms and cocked my hips. “Tell me.”

He shook his head, sending dust everywhere. “Guess.”

“Goddammit, tell me, Christian!” I said, laughing. “What’d you find?”

He finally cracked, laughing with me. “This!” He said, holding up an old hat, navy blue and military cut with a braided gold brocade strip around the front. “It’s, like, a navy captain’s hat or something crazy like that!”

I took it from him, studying it with a smile on my face. “This is so cool!” I shook the dust off before taking off my Skellington beanie and putting it on instead. “I’m a navy person! Salute and march and… stuff!”

CC laughed, taking the hat off of my head in the middle of my one-man parade. “Salute and march and stuff? Really?” He rolled his eyes, pulling on the old hat with a smirk. “Argh, there she be, laddies!” He yelled in his best sailor accent, stumbling around the hall like he had a wooden leg, one eye closed. “Jolly rogers and round robins!”

“That’s pirates, not navy captains, CC!” I teased, trying to keep a straight face as he staggered around the house, waving his arms furiously, his face screwed up to keep from laughing.

“Really?” He asked sarcastically, dropping the accent and rolling his eyes. “I didn’t know that, Wolfy, thanks for enlightening me.” He took off the hat and set it down. “Anyways, how was your night? With Andy?”

“It was fun.” I said, smiling. “We went to the park.”

“What are you, five?!” CC said, laughing uproariously. “I at least expected, like, fake ID’s and a bar involved in this story.”

“Nope!” I said, laughing. “Just the park. And this weird little Chinese food place we stopped at for dinner.”

“He behaved himself?” CC asked suspiciously, squinting at me. I nodded. Don’t tell me why I didn’t tell CC about me and Andy dating, I honestly don’t know. I just… didn’t actually say the words. “That’s good.” CC said, satisfied finally. “So you’re not hungry?”

“Not really.” I answered truthfully.

“Oh, well that’s too bad. I mean, I had some pretty great donuts that Ash dropped by while you were gone. I saved them for when you got back!” He said, smirking at me as my eyes widened.

“I never said anything about being too full for DONUTS!” I squeaked, sprinting to the kitchen and finding the big, pink dozen box on the counter, grabbing out the most chocolate-y, sprinkle-covered one I could find and taking a huge bite out of it. “I’m narfer too fub fur dunurts.” I said around my bite, and CC laughed, taking a glazed cake donut out of the box.

“That’s my Wolfy.” He said, grinning and messing up my hair. I glared at him, and he laughed. “Just save me some of them, okay?”

“Kay,” I mouthed around another bite of gooey, chocolate-y, pastry goodness, and then went up to my room to take off my boots and jacket. 

I set my donut down on my nightstand to unsnap the fake spats and unlace the fronts, pulling off first one boot and then the other. I flung my jacket across the back of my chair, flopping on my bed and taking another bite of my donut. It was about then that I realized how constricting skinny jeans are, and unbuttoned them, taking them off and flinging them, too, across the room before pulling on a pair of fuzzy Batman pajama pants. My phone buzzed in my jeans’ back pocket, and I tugged it out from the tangled mess they had become, swiping across the screen to read my text. It was from Andy. “You forgot your purse.” It read. “Want me to bring it by?”

“Oops!” I texted back. “Please do. I’ll be on the porch.”

I threw off my shirt and pulled on a random hoodie, scuffing into my black fuzzy slippers and going to sit out on the chair on the porch, watching the bugs dance around the flickering streetlight as I waited for his engine’s familiar sound. It took almost five minutes, then I saw headlights and heard the muted rumble of his car as it drove (once again) towards my house. He pulled up into the driveway, and I ran down the walk to meet him at his car. “BATMAN!” He yelled, pointing at my pajama pants with a huge grin on his face. “I approve.”

“Oh, what, you’re approving my pajamas now? Jeez, control freak.” I teased as he handed me my purse.

“But your hoodie… Black Veil Brides. You like that band? Ew.” He criticized, trying his hardest not to laugh as he scorned his own band. I looked down. I was wearing his and CC’s own band merch. Jeez. 

“Yeah, BVB, man. I’ve heard their lead singer’s pretty hot.” I teased, winking.

“He is, I’ve met him.” Andy said, nodding in earnest. “I’ve got a face with his face on it.”

I laughed, grinning at how silly Andy was, which made him start laughing, too. “Alright, I better get back in before CC thinks you’re trying to kidnap me or something.” I said.

He smiled, his hand resting on the car window. “Okay. Bye, Lo!”

“Bye!” I yelled, waving, as he revved his engine and took off down the street. I walked back inside, where CC was sitting on the couch with a second donut in hand. “That was Andy. I forgot my purse in his car.” I explained before he could even ask.

“Mmm.” He mumbled around a mouthful of donut before offering me another. This time, I grabbed a big swirly one. I think it was a bear claw. I sniffed it, breathing in its cinnamon-y goodness before taking a bite, using my teeth to peel back the flaky crust. “You eat them weird.” CC observed for the ten thousandth time.

“Maybe everyone else eats them wrong.” I said, replying with the same line I always had. I curled up next to him on the couch, laying my head on his chest and watching whatever stupid movie he’d turned on this time. We were quiet for a few minutes before I did something I hadn’t in years. “Hey Ceece?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

He laughed softly, putting his arm around me and pulling me closer to his chest. He smelled like Axe, donuts, cigarette smoke, and closet dust, and I found it oddly soothing. “Love you too, Wolfy.”


	7. Maybe A Week Later

It was pretty late at night. I lay on my bed, alone in the dark except for my laptop, which sat high-and-mighty in front of me, glowing needlessly bright. It reminded me of that one Pierce The Veil lyric, from Divine Zero… How’d it go? Oh yeah. “My bedroom computer light is the only menace to my new faux wooden blinds.” Yeah, Vic can put anything into words, I swear. I haven’t met the guy (YET! Maybe someday) but I loved him. Not love, but like…. Love. You know?

Anyways, I was scrolling through Twitter. I followed all the usual suspects: Bryan Stars, BVB Official, the actual band members and their private accounts, PTV Official, SWS Official, BMTH, FIR, OM&M, all the bands. Also, I followed a random assortment of my followers, who followed me solely because I was related to CC. Like this one. Her handle was @KaisaBVB. She sent me a short message (Under 140, of course, but this was even Twitter short.) “@LoRider how’s it feel to wake up knowing CC’s in ur hous?”

Agh. Misspellings. But I tweeted her back, being the nice person I am. “@KaisaBVB how’s it feel to wake up knowing your sibling’s in your house? NORMAL. He’s just CC. Sometimes he smells funny. ;)” And sent it. See, I’m a great person.

There was a quick blip on my screen, an incoming tweet from CC. “@LoRider I do not smell funny.”

I laughed, tweeting him back. “@CCBVB Stop monitoring my twitter feed RUDE. I’m not 12.”

Another tweet came in, this time from another fangirl, this time it was @BlackVeilDIane. “@LoRider have you ever seen Andy shirtless?”

“@BlackVeilDiane we all have. He’s almost always shirtless on stage, or hadn’t you noticed? He’s got a very nice chest, and he knows it.”

@haveasoul tweeted me. “@LoRider do you play an instrument?”

“@haveasoul actually… I do. I forgot about that. Huh. I wonder if I can still play. I also sing.” 

I used to play drums, CC taught me! I had almost completely forgotten. Wait. One more tweet. @nopenonope tweeted… “@LoRider do u have a crush on any of the guys in the band?”

My heart went cold. I still hadn’t told CC about me and Andy! Shit. Shitshitshit. And Andy hadn’t announced it on the Twitter-sphere, so I didn’t want to go blabbing. “@nopenonope that’s private. Maybe I do. Maybe I don’t. You wish you knew, huh?”

Okay. That came off rude, but that’s okay, right? I can do rude. Maybe it was only fierce. Or teasing. No, hell no, that was rude. Okay. I’ll add a winky face at the end. Those fix it up. One last tweet came in, right as I was about to log off. It was from Ashley. “@LoRider do you ever sleep?”

“@ashleybvb do YOU? It’s like 3 in the morning. SLEEP. I’m not the one with a famous rep to uphold.”

Oh. Oh my god. Gerard Way has changed his name to Goth Claudia. Okay then….. I wonder what the story behind that is. Okay. Logging off Twitter. 

But, that one fan’s comment stayed with me. Nopenonope’s comment, about me liking any of the guys? Yeah. I’ve got to tell CC. I’ll do it tomorrow.


	8. The Next Day

I woke up to Rebel Love Song playing on my phone. I rolled over in bed, perfectly content, and then my eyes snapped open and I threw back the covers, diving for my phone. That was Andy! I put RLS as Andy’s ringtone! I swiped to answer just in time. “Hi, Andy.”

My voice must have come out groggy. “Oh, did I wake you up?” He sounded genuinely concerned.

“No, no, it’s okay.” I said, laying back down and closing my eyes while I talked. 

“Sorry, babe.” He said, laughing. “But I had an idea.”

“And that is?”

“That I’ve waited long enough. We’re going out again tonight. Or, like today. Soon. Get dressed.” I could hear him smiling as he said all this, and I could almost perfectly picture the grin he was wearing, the way his baby blue eyes crinkled, the slight tilt of his head. “I’ll be there in an hour.”

“Andy!” I said, just as he hung up. “Wait, Andy! Nooooooo….” I clicked off my phone’s screen, throwing it on my chair and staring at the floor for a second. I had to get ready! I jumped out of bed, struggling into a pair of skinny jeans and waking CC up. “CC! Ceece! CHRISTIAN COMA GET UP!” I yelled, and he didn’t even budge. I sighed, trudging back to my room and coming back out with an air horn. I stood about three feet away from his bed before plugging my ears and blasting it off. “CC, WAKE UP!” I yelled while I did, and he shot straight up out of bed, scrambling around frantically until he saw it was only me who had made all that noise.

“You little brat.” He grumbled, turning onto his stomach and putting a pillow over his head. “Whaddya want?”

I sat on his back, squishing him while I answered. “Andy’ll be here in an hour. Thought you should know.”

He pushed me off of his back, rolling over to face me. “Andy’s what?”

“Coming over. To get me. In an hour. I figured I should tell you.”

“Whatever. Don’t fucking wake me up like that again, okay?” He laid his bed head back down then, pulling the blankets over his head. “Goddamn teenage girls and their goddamn airhorns.”

I rushed out of his room, flinging my shirt off as I rounded the corner back to my own and frantically searching through my closet for anything remotely cute. I ended up in a white button-down shirt, the first three buttons undone and the first one on the cuff also unsnapped, with a soft black vest and its stooping neckline adding to the effect. I grabbed out my cross necklace, stuck in one dangly silver cross earring and one pure black Onyx stud, and then went for the bracelets. Black leather studded one, a few different bangles, woven ones, and band merch ones, and I was done. I slipped on my spat boots, and then went to do my makeup. I gave my hair a once-over, and then decided to do something I hadn’t in a long time, something easier than managing a half-inflated small fringe all day: I was gonna blow it up. Go sky high, who cares? Fifteen minutes and probably half a can of hairspray later, I was looking sharp. Except for my makeup. I got my foundation and powder on in record time, deftly flicking wings into my eyeliner and then stroking on mascara, before picking a dark red-ish lipstick, leaving it un-glossed. Okay. I grabbed a black quilted purse with a tiny silver skull clasp out of my closet, opening it and stuffing my wallet, eyeliner, cell phone, and a pen inside, then running downstairs just as I heard Andy’s tires hit the driveway. I scarfed down a package of mini muffins as he was parking and walking up the steps, and threw the package away as he knocked at the door, checking my lipstick in the hallway mirror. “Hey.” I said, smiling as I answered the door.

Andy looked good. He was wearing black skinny jeans, an acid wash denim vest with the collar up, a silver chain, black boots, a hoop earring, and he had actually put in his lip ring! Andy did a double take as he looked at me just as I had when I looked to him, quickly grinning. “I guess I should stop being so surprised when you look good enough to eat.” He said in a low voice, chuckling deep in his throat. “You ready?”

“Yep.” I said, grinning as I stepped out onto the porch and he took my hand, leading me to his car. I slipped into the passenger seat, setting my purse on the floorboards again as he got into the driver’s. “Where to this time?” I asked as he shut his door and turned the key in the ignition.

“It’s a secret.” He said, his baby blue eyes sparking with excitement. “I’m gonna surprise you.”

“You don’t even know where we’re going, do you?” I teased, giggling as I reached into a hidden pocket of my purse and pulled out two silver rings, one for my left-hand middle finger, one for my right hand ring finger. 

“No, I do this time, really.” He said quickly, turning onto the exit to town. “It’s just a surprise.”

We pulled up to this big building at the center of town, its atmosphere electric, a sign proclaiming “Black Veil Brides Concert Tonight!” in big black letters, lined with green and photoshopped over a recent photoshoot that the boys had done. I gasped. “You guys are having a concert? Does CC know?”

He laughed. “Of course CC knows. Why, is he still sleeping?” I nodded, and Andy shook his head. “I can fix that.” He said with a devious smirk, pulling out his phone and sending a quick text to Ash, Jake, and Jinxx. “Sound check at CC’s. Let’s try to be LOUD. ;)” It read, and Andy chuckled, pulling away from the venue and back towards my house. “I’d always wanted to do this.”

“Do what, exactly?” I asked skeptically as we turned back into the residential. “Andy, tell me, do WHAT?”

“Sound check.” He said simply, pulling up to my house again and getting out, running over to the passenger side and grabbing my hand, pulling me to the porch. “You’ll see. Now, the guys should be here soon.”

Ashley was the first to pull up, in his cool old Caddy that purred like a cougar read to pounce. He killed the engine, stepping out and pulling his bass out with him. “I’m ready for sound check.” He purred, smirking just as Andy had. “Let’s just hope CC is.”

“What are you guys gonna do?” I questioned again, this time louder, and Ash shot Andy a surprised look.

“You hadn’t told Loralei what sound check is?” He rumbled, feigning shock. “I’m surprised at you, Andy!”

Just then, Jinxx and Jake pulled up to the curb, stepping out and grabbing their guitars. “Ready for sound check!” Jinxx said, walking up to join us.

“Me too.” Jake said, running a hand through his hair and grinning. 

“Alright.” Andy said, grinning. “Lead the way, Lo. To CC’s room!”

I shook my head, leading them into the house and up the stairs, quietly to CC’s room. “Usually I just use an airhorn,” I said, shaking my head, “And not an entire band. I think I like this better.”

Ash laughed. “You haven’t even seen the best part yet, babe.” He purred, earning a defensive look from Andy. “You’ll love it.” He opened CC’s bedroom door, peering into the darkness and making sure he was still in bed, and then grinned at the guys, waving his arms. “Loralei, will you come and stand… here?” He motioned to a spot about a foot in front of CC’s door. “And face into his room. Andy, here.” He put Andy behind me and to the right, placing himself behind me and to the left. “Jake and Jinxx, you two.” He pointed to the other two open spots, on either side of me, and Jake took the left, Jinxx on the right. “Alright, Loralei, be so kind as to give us a count?”

I looked over their faces before giving a loud count off. “One, two, one two three!”

All-together, Jake, Jinxx, and Ash started their guitars and bass at squealing horribly, and Andy let out the loudest, most unearthly scream I’ve heard him do to this date. I joined in with them, screaming with Andy, and CC shot out of bed, opening his eyes and scrambling around for a minute while we all stopped playing and screaming, laughing our heads off. “Morning, Ceece.” I said sweetly, smiling in the middle of the guys, and he scowled. 

“We were just having sound check for OUR CONCERT IN SIX HOURS!” Jinxx said from his place on my right. “You’re supposed to be awake, CC! Jesus!”

“Fuck you.” He said, laying back down and covering his head with his pillow, flipping us all off fantastically. 

“I’ve got this.” I said, smiling at everyone and swaggering into his room, stepping up onto his bed and jumping, being careful not to jump ON him, while screaming “GET UP GET UP GET UP GET UP!” at the top of my lungs, earning another squealing/screaming encore from the boys, which I, once again, joined in, my scream matching Andy’s perfectly.

“GODDAMNIT, I’M UP, FUCKERS!” CC yelled, pushing me off his bed with a thud and throwing his pillow violently at Ashley. “Fucking Jesus, you guys, there’s six fucking hours till the show. I could’ve slept for another three.”

I smiled sweetly at him from my new position on the floor. “Morning, CC. I love you, big brother!”

“Fuck off.” He said, sitting up and rubbing his eyes while everyone laughed at him. He flipped us off once again, standing up and pulling on a pair of black jeans that had been sitting by his desk.

We all left his room, going back downstairs laughing and smiling amongst ourselves as CC got dressed to join us. Andy grinned at me, giving me a thumbs-up from across the crowd that the band was, and we all flopped down on our couches, me in my chair. “That was awesome.” Jake said, laughing, and Jinxx replied.

“Fuck yeah it was! Did you see the look on CC’s face when Loralei was, like, standing over him and screaming? I didn’t know Loralei could scream!” He nodded approvingly at me just as CC came down the stairs, his hair unkempt and murder in his eyes. “Look! He lives!”

A chorus of “He lives!” and “CC is Jesus!” rounded the living room as they all got off the couch, grabbing him in a hug while CC protested madly. “Get the fuck off of me!” he yelled from in the middle of the huddle, and I just laughed, going over to add to their hug group. 

Once we broke, some of his anger had steamed away, replaced by an almost laughing face and faux-angry eyes. “Well.” Ashley purred, smirking. “Someone’s not a morning person.”

“Not a morning person, my fucking ass!” Jinxx said, grinning. “Look at how chipper he is, how bright those eyes are! He’s a morning person.”

CC shook his head, going into the kitchen to pour himself some coffee whilst mumbling under his breath, which caused us all to laugh again. “Alright.” Jinxx said, standing up. “Sound check’s over. See you all in five hours.” He grinned, waving and heading to the door, Jake following behind him.

“I’m gonna head, too.” Ash said, grabbing his bass and standing. “See ya, guys. I’m out.” He filed out after Jake and Jinxx, slamming the door behind him.

CC came back into the living room then, sitting heavily on the couch and glaring at me and Andy. “I hate you sometimes.”

“Love you, too.” I replied laughingly.

He finally seemed to notice that I was all dressed up, and gave me a quick once-over, his eyes lingering on my hair. “What’re you all dressed up for?” He asked. “I haven’t seen your fringe up in forever.”

“I told you.” I said, shaking my head. “Andy and I are going to hang out for a few hours before the concert.”

CC nodded, his eyes going back to his coffee. “You have fun then. Oh, and Andy? Fuck you.”

Andy laughed. “See you at the real sound check.” He motioned to the door and I stood, us both going back to his car and getting in. “Anyways.” He said, pulling out of my driveway. “I WAS gonna take you to see Pierce The Veil’s concert in the next town over, but kinda got sidetracked… Wanna go now? We still have time before I have to be back here.”

My eyes widened. “Of course I want to go!” I said, grinning. “I’ve always wanted to see them live!”

“Yup. We’re gonna be in the front row, and then go talk to Vic. I know you wanted to.” He said, and I gasped. “Yep. There it is. The surprise.”

I squealed. “REALLY?! Ohmigosh, that’s so awesome!” I said, bouncing so hard that my fringe hit the roof of his car. “Drive FASTER!” 

He chuckled. “I don’t know about you, but I want to get there in one piece.” 

He took as many shortcuts as he could, though, and we got there only five or ten minutes after they had started playing. Andy just smiled at the doorman, and he let us in, a startled look on his face at seeing Andy Biersack come to the door. As soon as he opened the door, the sound of their concert hit us full-force, along with Vic singing to Disasterology, one of my all-time favorites. He kept hold of my hand, pulling us to the barrier where we cheered as part of the crowd. I was surprised at how many people didn’t notice that they were next to Andy, but oh well, it was easier that way. My hands were up in the air within seconds, a look of pure bliss on my face as I waved with the crowd, sung with the crowd, danced with the crowd, until the song ended and everyone cheered, including me and Andy. Vic grinned, his eyes going over the audience before stopping dead and locking on us. “Holy shit, you guys!” He said to his fans, shaking his head. “You didn’t tell me that HE was here! Guys, look! In the front here! It’s Andy Biersack!”

Suddenly, everyone converged on us and started cheering, not for Vic, but for us, and Andy clamored over the barrier, lifting me up once we got onto the other side and walking assuredly onto stage. “Hey, Vic.” He said into the microphone, smirking. “I’m a huge fan.”

“Why thank you!” Vic grinned, and then turned to me. “And who might you be?”

“Loralei.” I said into his mic, smiling shyly. “Loralei Coma.”

Vic’s eyes widened. “Oooh, like CC Coma’s sister? Andy, does CC know that you’ve stolen his sister?”

Andy laughed. “Yeah, he does, but he doesn’t know we’re… here, exactly.”

Vic nodded, giving us a conspiratorial wink to which the fans roared. “Loralei,” He addressed me after the fans had quieted. “Would you sing with me? Just one song?”

My eyes went huge, and Andy put a hand on my shoulder. “You can do it, Lo.” He said, into my ear and not into the mic. “You’ve got it. Just like at sound check.”

Andy winked at me, and I gave him a funny look and nodded, and Vic grinned. “Alright, darling! Next up in our list is… Hold On Till May! Can you sing it?” I nodded again, and Vic grinned bigger. 

“You’re singing, too.” I said, hands on my hips. “These people didn’t come here to hear me sing, now did they?”

“Point.” Vic said, grinning, and then turning to the band. “Alright, guys, on three. One, two, three!”

On three, the instruments started in perfect harmony, and my pulse went sky high, my heart beating its way out of my ribcage. Vic handed me a mic from behind his amp, grinning, and then he started to sing, the audience falling quiet. “She sits up high, surrounded by the sun. One million branches, and she loves every one. Mom and Dad, did you search for me? I’ve been up here so long I’m going CRAZY!” He lowered his voice in the split second between the two parts of the song, suddenly going low and serious. “The sun went down, we ended up on the ground. I heard the train shake the windows, and you screamed over the sound. And as we owned this night, I put your body to the test with mine. This love was out of control! Three, two, one, where did it go?”

I didn’t sing for most of the song, but Vic knew what I was doing. I was waiting for Lindsey Stamey’s part, the only part meant for a girl in the song, but just being on stage with Vic was amazing. It was beautiful. It was gorgeous. I felt vibrant and alive in a way I hadn’t in a long time, alive and burning with feelings and emotion. Ah, here it was. When I stopped spacing out, Vic had lowered his voice again, looking directly at me while singing. “If I were you, I’d put that away. See, you’re just wasted and thinking about the past again. Darling, you’ll be okay! And she said…”

Oh. Oh my god. This was it! My part! I transitioned in smoothly, picking up where Vic had left off, and his jaw almost dropped. “If you were me, you’d do the same! Cuz I can’t take anymore! I’ll draw the shades and close the door! Everything’s not alright, and I would rather…”

The guitar solo started in, and Vic grinned at me, giving me a hug on stage while he waited for his part. After the song was over, he grinned at me, while I was still throttling the mic with all my might. “You’re an amazing singer, Loralei!” He said, and the crowd cheered in agreement. “And that stage presence! You almost drowned me out! You should definitely look into singing with someone.”

“Thank you!” I said, grinning and running a hand nervously through my fringe. “It’s just awesome to be up here, in front of them, with you, with all of you! Thank you all so much!” The crowd cheered again, starting a chant. “Lo-ra-lei! Lo-ra-lei! Lo-ra-lei!” Over and over, and I raised my left hand, fist clenched, and they all cheered. “Thank you!” I grinned, bowing grandly, and then looking around for Andy, who was standing in the stage-left shadows, watching me with a big grin on his face. I gave Vic back his mic and gave him a quick hug, then headed over to Andy, taking his hand with a giddy smile on my face. “That was so much fun!” I said, laughing lightheadedly. “I see why you like singing!”

He laughed. “It’s pretty amazing, huh?” He asked, and I nodded enthusiastically. He laughed again. “You wanna come up with me tonight during our concert? You could sing with us, if you want.”

“Ohmigosh, really?!” I asked, jumping up and down and squealing. “That’s be so awesome! Thank you, Andy!” I grabbed him in a tight hug, still giggling, and he seemed taken aback for a moment before putting an arm around me and returning the hug. 

“You’re welcome.”


	9. At The BVB Concert

It was 5:30, and I stood backstage with the guys, who were running around madly, preparing for their concert. The real sound check had gone perfectly, more than perfectly, but everyone was seriously stressed. This was their first home concert in a long time, and they wanted it to be… perfect. While everyone was getting everything set up, I sat on an amp and watched. My phone buzzed in my back pocket, so I pulled it out and checked the text. It was from Juliet Simms, my best friend. I grimaced as I opened it – I hadn’t hung out with her in forever, since Andy and I started hanging out, really. “So. Andy and a PTV concert, all without me?” Her message read, and I could almost see the way her eyes were narrowed, her arms crossed. This Juliet was a mad Juliet, and a Mad Juliet is a Dangerous Juliet.

“Yeah, sorry” I replied. “It was kind of spur of the moment.”

“Have you checked twitter recently?” She burned back in three seconds flat. 

I hadn’t, truthfully, not since the concert. I opened the app, and read 138 new messages. I gasped, opening the first one to find a picture of me, Vic, and Andy on stage, me grinning at both of them. “@Lorider,” it read. “Andy or Vic? It’s a hard life.”

Another one, attached to a picture of me and Andy entering the venue, hand-in-hand. “@Lorider you and Andy, huh? Slurp. ;)”

No. Nonononono! This isn’t how I wanted it! Going through my messages, there was the same thing over and over. Me and Andy, can’t I choose between the Sexican and the Sex God, does CC know, what does Juliet think, OMG OMG OMG. Over and over again. I must have looked awfully worried, because Andy knelt in front of me, a questioning look on his face. “You alright, Lo?” He asked, taking my free hand in his. 

“Uhm… Yeah.” I said, smiling. “I’m fine. Just talking to Juliet.”

He nodded skeptically. “Alright…” He said, standing back up and smiling at me. “Tell me if anything’s wrong, okay?”

“Kay.” I said, before texting Juliet back. “It’s not what it looks like, Jules, I swear.”

“Oh, I think it is.” She replied. “I’ll be at the BVB concert tonight. We’ll see then.”

Fuck. She was here? That meant that when I went on with Andy later tonight… No, maybe I could play it off as CC’s sister privileges. Oh, fuck, I don’t know. “Alright.” I texted shakily back. “We’ll see tonight.”

“We’re on.” CC said from in front of me, and I looked up. “See you in a few songs, Wolfy?”

“Yeah.” I replied, giving him a strained smile. “I’m coming on during Perfect Weapon.”

“Alright, great!” he said as he backed towards the stage. “But I got to go. Wish us luck!”

“Good luck, you guys!” I smiled, waving as they went on, and then turning back to Twitter. 

This was insane. I mean, you can’t go anywhere with anyone remotely famous without Twitter blowing up at you. I even saw a tweet from Bryan Stars that read “So, is Andy Biersack dating Lo Coma? What’s the story?” tied to yet another picture of Andy and me entering the venue. I was just lucky that CC never checks twitter before shows, so I had time to clear this up. Maybe. 

Just then, the boys launched into their first song, which was a favorite of mine, God Bless You. I smiled, shutting off my phone and swaying to the music from my perch on top of an old amp. I was lucky, really, that I got to sit backstage like this, but being in the audience… That was amazing. I put my phone in my purse and came out a side door into the arena, into the fans, and made my way into the thick of it, maybe two rows back from the fence. I knew these guys, I didn’t deserve a barrier seat, but I did deserve… this. The fans’ energy was electric, catching onto me as I jumped and danced with them, moving as one while I watched my brother, my boyfriend, and their friends onstage. It was truly marvelous. When the song ended, I cheered along with the crowd, was part of the crowd for only the second time ever, and I loved it. The next song they sung was Alive and Burning, and hearing their songs like that, over the speakers at a concert, made me truly appreciate them all the more. They hadn’t spotted me yet, which was good, and only one of the fans had realized who I was, but she was cool about it, which was good. After they had finished their song, Andy came up to the edge of the stage with a smile on his face. “Alright, fuckers, I’ve got a treat for you tonight.” He said, and my eyes widened. I had to get backstage! I waded through the people as he introduced me. “As most of you know, our drummer CC here has a sister, Loralei Coma. And she’s agreed to sing with us tonight!” The crowd went wild just as I got backstage, gave the guard a smile and slipped in, panting as I ran to the stage side door and checked my makeup and hair in the mirror. My fringe was a mess, but that’s okay, I could rock mess. I quickly re-did my lipstick just as Andy looked backstage. “Loralei, will you come up here with us?”

I let out a nervous breath, and then grabbed the cordless mic waiting for me on the railing and walked up the steps and onstage. The crowd cheered loudly as I did, and I even heard a few whistles and catcalls from the audience. I turned to them, bending at the waist ever so slightly and waving, blowing a kiss and winking, which made the crowd absolutely explode. I waked over to Andy, grinning. “It’s good to be here.” I said into the mic, looking around before facing the audience with a fierce grin on my face. “And thank you all for coming!” They roared back, and I grinned before turning back to Andy, who laughed nervously before talking. 

“Alright, Lo, you said you’d sing with us, right?” He asked.

I interrupted him. “Yeah.”

He gave me a stern look before beginning again. “And the next song up in our lineup is In The End. Can you sing it?”

“Puh-lease.” I drew out, grinning and waving a hand dismissively in front of my face. “I can sing it in my sleep. CC can drum it in his sleep, I’ve seen him do it. There was this one time…” 

CC got up off the drums, running across the stage and covering my mouth with one hand, taking the mic from me with the other. “Ignore Loralei, guys, she’s just… making things up.” He said after he let me go.

“No I’m not!” I yelled, loud enough for the mic to pick it up. “And you know it! You’ve got to admit it, you sleepwalker! You did!” I had my hands on my hips and CC was looking thoroughly embarrassed as he gave me back the microphone and glared at me, flipping me off as he walked back to the drums, and I grinned. “Alright. That was a fiasco.” I said, laughing into the mic. “Ready, guys?”

Andy nodded, and Ashley whooped, his hands in the air. “Alright then!” Andy said, and then screamed. “I hope you’re fucking ready!” The crowd went wild as they all started to play, and Andy and I sang along. “In the end, as we fade into the night, woaaaahhhh, who will tell the story of your life?” We all started headbanging before Andy let me pick up the next part on my own. “In the end, as my soul’s laid to rest, what is left of my body? Or am I just a shell?” CC came in strong then, with a double beat that made me grin as I sung, Andy joining back in. “I have fought, and with flesh and blood, I commanded an army. Through it all, I have given my whole for a moment of glory!” 

I whispered in the background, along with Ashley. “I gave it all.”

And then the chorus. Andy and I jumped around like crazy, dancing for the audience, commanding both halves of the stage I got the far left, Andy the right, and we continued singing. “In the end, as we fade into the night, woooaaahhh, who will tell the story of your life? Woooaaahhh! And who will remember your last goodbye? Woooaaaahhh! Cuz it’s the end, and I’m not afraid, I’m not afraid to die.” As Andy went into his faded back ‘Not Afraid’ s, I dropped out, turning to the crowd. “I can’t hear you!” I screamed, really screamed, into the mic, and the audience erupted, me jumping up and down and waving my hands in the air. “LOUDER!” I yelled, grinning, as I joined back in. “Born a saint, though with every sin, I still wanna be holy. I will live… again. Who we are isn’t how we live, we are more than our bodies. If I fall, I will rise back up and relive my glory!” We sung through the chorus again, the fans joining in and singing with us from the audience. I was loving this, SO MUCH. The stage was definitely a place for me. I absolutely loved jumping around with Andy and Ash and Jake and Jinxx, and they loved having me. Jinxx dropped into his guitar solo, so I went up and air-guitared along with him, back to back. I heard him laugh over the music, as he was bending down and I was on my tippy toes to even be able to be back to back! When the solo ended and I had to sing again, I bounced away, back to center stage, where I met Andy in a sing-off. “Who will remember this last goodbye? Cuz it’s the end, and I’m not afraid, I’m not afraid to die.” When we finished singing, the crowd went absolutely wild, and I put my hand up, palm out towards the audience, and bowed.

“That was fucking awesome!” Andy said, grinning as he ran a hand through his hair and turned to the audience. “What do you think?” A thundering roar erupted from all of them, and then that same chant started up again, the same one from the PTV concert this afternoon. “Lo-ra-lei! Lo-ra-lei! Lo-ra-lei!” Over and over. I grinned, and Andy turned to me. “I think they liked it.” He said, winking, and I nodded, laughing. “What do you say to another song?”

“Fuck yeah!” I said, grinning fiercely. “I’m here for the rest of the concert, baby, that was awesome!”

“Alright.” He laughed, looking to the guys. “The next song is… New Religion, right?” Ash nodded, and Andy nodded back, smiling. “I thought so. Start us in! Lo, you’re screaming.” The band started up in perfect harmony, and Andy and I grinned, giving eachother a high five before splitting back to our own halves of the stage. I sung right along with him when they started. “Welcome to your lies, when we’ve got you in our sights, and felt some kind of better left alone! It’s in your head, black and blue, what they told you wasn’t true, come along and fight with the unknown! The army’s grown.” I hopped around on stage like a crazy rabbit on speed, reaching down to sing with one of the fans from the safety of the stage before jumping back and focusing on Andy. “We pray to all the wrong decisions, this time you’ll show ‘em who you can be! Grab your weapons out, we’ll run against the crowd and changing history!” This was it. Time for my first scream. “SO!” I screamed, as loud as I could into my mic, and then rejoined with Andy, singing the next part. The crowd went absolutely nuts when I screamed, and Andy gave me a thumbs-up. “Let’s take the crown, we will show you how. Your time has come for the new religion! Your voice is bowed, be our savior now. The battle’s won for the new religion!” We sung through the song, me taking the screams in stride, and I have to admit, I absolutely loved it. Being up here with them was even more electric than being in the audience, and I loved it. I was just waiting… waiting for the big scream that I knew was coming very shortly. First was the guitar solo, of course, and I air-guitared along again, grinning fiercely. When the scream did come, I was more than nervous about it, but I was also... exhilarated. “We are the unholy!” I screamed, using Andy’s talking part as a way to practice my scream. He talked it along with me, but I was mostly focused on not messing up this long scream. “We are the bastard sons of your media culture. Our minds, eyes, and bodies were born of your exclusion, an illusion you hide behind. You don’t love a God, you love your comforts. To you, we are filth. We are dirty. So be it! We are dirty and unclean, a congregation of the unseen, together we will set this world on fire. This is the new religion. AMEN!”

As the song ended, my hands were in the air, and I bowed again, the crowd’s roar practically deafening, and I loved it. Andy could obviously see it from the smile on my face, and he came over, laughing. “You like that, Lo?” He asked, smirking.

I grinned fiercely, nodding. “Fuck yeah I do!” I said, hopping on the balls of my feet, and then getting an idea. “What’s the next song?”

Andy shrugged. “I dunno. Wait, yes I do.” He went up to the fence, targeting one fan in particular who looked about to faint as he smiled at her. “What’s your name?”

“K… Kelsei.” She said, trying to smile but ending up looking nervous.

“And what do you want to hear today, Kelsei?” He asked, grinning.

“Uhm… Oh my god… Uhm…” You could tell that the poor girl was drawing a blank, and then she spat out the name of a song so fast that we missed it.

“What was that, Kelsei?” I asked, coming down to stand by Andy.

“Rebel Love Song?” She squeaked, her eyes still wide at us talking to her. 

“Alright then.” Andy said, smiling at her, and then turning to me. “Next is Rebel Love Song.” 

When we got back up on stage, the band started up behind us, playing the opening chords. I grinned, air-guitaring with Jinxx again until we actually had to sing. Andy and I started up singing, grinning at eachother while we did. “I cannot hide what’s on my mind! I feel it burning deep inside. A passion crime to take what’s mine. Better start living for today! Never gonna change my mind, we can leave it all behind, nothing’s gonna stop us, no, not this time!” He reached out, taking my hand in his, still singing. “So take your hand in mine, it’s ours tonight. This is a rebel love song! Hearts we’ll sacrifice, it’s do or die. This is a rebel love song!” He dropped my hand, winking at me during the brief break in singing, before we picked it back up again. “My outlaw eyes have seen their lies, I choke on all they have to say. When worlds collide, what’s left inside? I hold on tight and hear you pray!” 

I dropped to my knees on stage, hands raised as if praying, before jumping up in one fluid movement and continuing singing with Andy. It was, again, amazing, and also REALLY hard to blush with all the sexy looks he was giving me. Eyes like those belong in private spaces, not on stage, but that’s alright, I melt the same both ways. During the guitar solo, I didn’t even air-guitar along, Andy and I kind of just… waltzed around on stage. Literally. He had one hand in mine, one on my waist, and my free hand was at his neck, and we just… danced. On stage. In front of everyone. I could feel CC shooting daggers at me with his eyes behind us, but honestly? I didn’t care. He let go of me when we had to sing again, but I had abandoned my microphone in the waistband of my jeans, and so we both sung into his for this one part. “Never gonna change my mind, we can leave it all behind, nothing’s gonna stop us, no, not this time!” 

By the time the line was finished, I had picked up my own mic again and was singing into it, but staying relatively near Andy anyways. I cast a glance back to where CC was, and saw the sharp looks he was giving us, laughing them off as I sung. The song was almost over, I realized, and I didn’t want it to end, but I kept singing along just as well, eyes locked on Andy, his eyes locked on me as we harmonized. When the singing was over, and the guitar had ended, he did something that I think neither of us expected. He came up behind me, dropping his mic onto the stage, and tangled his fingers in my hair, kissing me. On stage. With CC glaring daggers at us from the drums. The audience erupted louder than it ever had before, but when we broke apart, it seemed like only us two existed, or even mattered, and it was only me and Andy, and the fans, the band, none of that existed. He smiled at me, and I think it was CC in the dead mic that brought me back to reality. “What the FUCK?!” He screamed into our com system, that the fans couldn’t hear. “Andrew. What. The. Actual. Fuck.” He stood up from behind the drums, dropping his sticks into their holder and staring at us with murder in his eyes. “WHAT WAS THAT?!” 

“CC, we can do this after the concert.” Andy said calmly, all the love having drained out of his eyes and being replaced with a dangerous calm. “Not on stage, man. Not in front of the fans.”

“No, I think now’s as good of a time as ever.” CC seethed over the dead mic.

“Conflict!” I heard Ashley in my ear, again on the dead mic, but CC’s head snapped towards him angrily.

“Stay the fuck out of this, Purdy.” CC raged before turning back to Andy. “Now, what the fuck?”

“After the concert.” Andy said simply, and that was when I noticed that the fans had gone quiet, that they could hear every word that they said. Andy motioned for CC to sit back down, and he did, but the glaring didn’t stop, not for the rest of the concert. They still performed, but the rest of their concert was strenuous and full of unneeded tension. Andy still sung, and so did I, but there was a lot less visible energy, and the fans were full of a questioning, buzzing energy that we couldn’t turn back into the exhilaration of being at a concert.


	10. Backstage

As soon as we got off stage, CC’s hand was on Andy’s shoulder, spinning him around and slamming him backwards into the wall. “What the fuck, Andy?” He yelled. “What the fuck was that?”

“You hadn’t told him?” Andy asked, his eyes on me with a questioning hurt hidden inside them.

“I mean, I meant to, but… I hadn’t yet! I hadn’t had time!” I was frantic, pulling CC away from Andy before he did something stupid. CC’s got anger issues, it’s true, and I didn’t need him taking them out on Andy. “CC, don’t be mad at him, it’s my fault.”

“It’s not your fucking fault, Loralei.” He said, never taking his eyes from Andy, who was rubbing at his throat, where CC had pinned him to the wall. “So this is how you tell me, huh?” He seethed, slapping my hand away from his shoulder and stepping closer to Andy. Jake, Jinxx, and Ashley were watching in silence from the side, ready to help me separate the two of them if need be. “This is how you tell me that you’re dating my fucking SISTER?”

Andy dropped his hand from his throat, his eyes hard and lifeless. “I thought she fucking told you.” He seethed. “How was I supposed to know that you’re too much of a self-centered ass to even talk to her?”

That’s when CC snapped. I could see it in his eyes before he had even moved, balling up his fist and lunging at Andy, aiming to hit him square in the chest. Before he had even twitched, I dived between him and Andy, taking the punch straight to my ribs. “STOP!” I yelled, and when CC’s fist connected, it pushed me backwards, knocking the wind out of me. My hands went to my ribs as I stopped myself from doubling over, tears springing to my eyes as CC’s eyes widened as he realized what he’d done. “I…” I wheezed. “I told you it was my fucking fault, Christian.” 

Without another backwards glance, I ran out of the venue, got into CC’s car, and shoved the key in the ignition, driving with tears streaming blindly from my eyes. I couldn’t go home, that was for sure, because that was the first place they’d look for me. I drove, really without thinking, to Mama Coma’s house, whipping into her driveway and parking haphazardly across it. I killed the engine and ran up the steps, crashing into the house without even knocking, to find Mama Coma in the kitchen. When she saw me round the corner, my makeup streaking down my face and tears running with it, she gasped. “Oh my god, baby, what’s wrong?” She said, running over to me and grabbing me in her arms, one hand on my back and the other on the back of my head. 

I hiccupped, crying into her shirt for a minute before I could even respond. “C… Chrissy and… and Andy, they got into a fight… over me… and it’s all my fault, Mama, it’s all my fault!” I said, my face buried into her shoulder. “And CC, he… He…” I couldn’t really talk, so I hoped Mama Coma got at least half of what I was trying to say out of my blubbering. “He went to h… hit Andy, and I jumped in front of him, and he… he hit me, and I don’t know what to do!” I lifted my head from her shirt, looking up at her, and she seemed shocked, to say the least.

“Oh my god, baby, I’m so sorry!” She said, hugging me tighter before taking my hand and leading me to the upstairs bathroom, wetting a washcloth, and gently wiping off my running mascara. “It’ll all be okay, you’ll see. It’s all better now.” She said, baby talking me like she used to when I was five. I found it oddly soothing, and my sobs soon died down to little hiccups, even though the tears hadn’t stopped yet. “Christian’s just mad, baby, you’ll see.” She said, leading me back downstairs and to the fluffy couch in the living room where she sat and patted the seat next to her for me. I flopped down next to her, and she put her arm around me, pulling me to her chest and stroking my hair. “I’m sure he didn’t mean it.”

“He meant to hit Andy!” I protested, not really moving.

“What was the fight about?” Mama prompted me again.

“Well…” I started, wiping at my eyes. “Andy and I are... are dating, and I hadn’t told CC yet. I mean, I meant to, but I hadn’t found time! And I was on stage with them, and I was singing, and we were singing Rebel Love Song, and at the end, Andy kissed me, and CC just freaked out and started yelling and we had to calm him down for the rest of the concert, but afterwards, he…” The tears came back now in full force, and I had to stop talking for a minute to choke them back down. “He pinned Andy to the wall and was yelling in his face, and I tried to tell him that it was my fault, and I pushed him back so he’d let go of Andy, and… and… and he went to punch him, and I jumped in the way, and…” I shook my head, burying my face in Mama Coma’s shoulder. While she stroked my hair, deflating my fringe, but I didn’t care.

“It’s okay, baby, I promise.” She said softly, resting her chin on the top of my head. “CC didn’t mean to hurt you. He’s just mad, baby, okay? It’ll all be okay.” I nodded, just as my phone went off. I pulled it out of my purse with a sniffle, and wiped at my eyes so I could see who was calling. It was, of course, CC. “You should answer it.” Mama said softly, but I shook my head.

“I don’t want to talk to him.” I let it ring through, go to voicemail, and Mama sighed. “I don’t care if I ever fucking see him again.” He called again, and I sent him straight to voicemail. 

“Yes you do, baby, and you know it.” She said, extracting herself from me and standing up. “I’m going to go get you some water, okay?” I nodded, and she went to the kitchen to get some. While she was gone, Andy called, and I sent him, too, to voicemail. I didn’t want to talk to anyone right now, anyone but Mama Coma. She came back and handed me a big glass of water with a lemon wedge floating in it, and I took a sip. “There, see?” She said, smiling softly. “It’s all okay now.” I nodded, and she smiled. I curled up in the crook of the couch, between the body of it and the arm, resting my head on the armrest. 

“It’s all so complicated, Mama.” I said, shaking my head. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Just rest for now, baby, it’ll all work itself out.” She assured me with a smile, heading back into the kitchen to resume working on dinner.

While she was gone, I made the mistake of checking Twitter. The pictures of Andy and I on stage were already going viral, along with a few that showed me running from the venue, my makeup already streaming by then. I read one tweet while I was scrolling. “@Lorider was pictured running from the arena tonight. What happened inside? Was it @AndyBVB’s fault?”

In a way, yes, it was. I shook my head, turning off Twitter just as Andy called again, leaving a voicemail. I decided to hear what they had to say for themselves, and selected CC’s first voicemail, from when I had just got to Mama Coma’s. “Loralei, where the fuck are you?” He sounded genuinely worried. “I’m so fucking sorry, Loralei, I never meant to hurt you! Where are you? I’m sorry, Wolfy, I’m sorry, just please call me back!” I clicked to the next one, which was him again. “I’m so fucking sorry.” Was he… crying? It sounded like he was crying, but I could be wrong. “Loralei, I’m sorry, just pick up, please? Oh my god, what the fuck did I do?”

The next one was Andy, and he, too, sounded worried and scared and mad. “Loralei, where are you? Are you okay? Please answer me, baby, we’re all worried about you. Please!”

The fourth one was CC again. “Oh fuck. You’re not at the house. Where are you, Loralei, Wolfy, where the fuck are you? Answer me, call me back, some-fucking-thing.” He was definitely about to cry, if he wasn’t already. Just the sound of him in this much emotional pain made me start up crying again. “What have I fucking done? Loralei, I love you, I’m sorry, just answer your phone! Please!”

The fifth, surprisingly, was from Ashley. “Loralei, hey, it’s Ash. CC’s pretty broken up about hitting you like that… He’s called you, right? He and Andy are out looking for you. I’m not with them, I had to go home and drop off the concert shit first, but if you need someone to talk to, I’m here for you, kay? Call me back, or not, whatever. Bye, Loralei.”

That was the first sane idea I’d heard all day. I called Ash back, and he picked up on the third ring. “Loralei?”

“Hi, Ash.” I answered. My voice was still thick with tears, and he could definitely tell. “I’m alright.”

“I knew you were.” He said, sounding concerned. “You should be telling CC or Andy that, not me.”

“I don’t want to talk to either of them.” I replied truthfully, snuggling into the couch. “Is CC still mad at me?”

“Fuck, Loralei, he was never mad at you.” He said, and I could almost hear him shaking his head. “He couldn’t be mad at you.”

I sniffled. “Yes he could. Is Andy…?”

“Andy’s pretty shaken up.” He replied, and I could hear the rush of the wind coming through his open car window as he drove away from his house. “I don’t think I’d ever seen him like that before. CC, either, actually.”

“They’re both fucking assholes.” I seethed through my tears. 

“That’s the spirit!” He said, trying to be happy. “Call them assholes, get mad, you’ve got the right!”

I rolled up the edge of my shirt and looked at the perfect print of CC’s knuckles and his skull ring in my skin, outlined in red and starting to bruise. “Don’t tell them I called you, okay? They don’t need to know fucking anything right now.”

“Alright.” He said, and I could hear him take a puff of a cigarette. “I won’t tell them. But Loralei? Talk to them, okay? At least talk to CC. He’s really fucking scared.”

“Good.” I said, hanging up and stuffing my phone in my purse. He should be scared. Fucking prick. 

Another call rang through, and I pulled my phone back out to check the caller ID. It was Juliet. Wow, shocker. I figured she’d call right when everything got crazy. I sent her to voicemail along with the rest of them, and another new call from CC, and then listened to them. First was Juliet’s. “Oh my gosh, Loralei, what’s going on?” She asked. “You and Andy, and then this? It’s all over Twitter, you leaving the concert like that. What happened? Call me back, okay, girlie? Okay. Bye.”

I shook my head. I wasn’t gonna call her back, not right now. I opened CC’s voicemail next. “Loralei, oh my fucking god, where are you? Please, please, PLEASE call me back, Wolfy, I’m… I’m scared. I’m so fucking sorry, I never meant to hurt you like that.” Yep. He was crying. I heard him push down a sob before continuing. “I can’t find you, and I’m really freaking out. I’m driving over to Mom’s house right now, to see if you’ve been there. Please call me back, Wolfy, please?” 

The answering machine cut off the rest of his message. I stood up and walked to the kitchen. “CC’s coming.” I said emotionlessly. 

“That’s good, honey, he needs to talk to you.” She said, stirring a pot on the stove. “Talk to him, please?”

I nodded, going back to sit on the couch. I curled up into a little ball, trying to hide in the soft material until I heard the roar of an engine and the crunch of tires on gravel from outside. I braced myself for CC to come flying inside, and when he did, he ran straight for the kitchen just as I had. “Mom!” He yelled, then calming down when he rounded the corner to the kitchen. “Mom, where’s Loralei?”

“She’s in the living room, honey!” She said, and I could almost hear the stern look she was giving him. “You need to apologize to that girl.”

“I’ve been trying.” He said, and I could still hear the tears in his voice. “She wouldn’t answer her phone.” He left the kitchen then, coming into the living room. “Oh my god, Wolfy, I’m so sorry!” He said, and for the first time, I got a look at him. His eyes were red, his cheeks were puffy, and he looked immensely worried and scared and relieved that he had found me. “Are you alright?”

I nodded, and he let out a breath, falling onto the couch next to me and half picking me up, grabbing me in a huge hug. He rested his head on my shoulder when I put my arms around him. “I’m okay.” I whispered through my own tear-seized throat. “It was my fault, Chrissy.” 

“Oh my god, Wolfy.” He said into my hair. “It could never be your fault. It was my fucking fault for overreacting. Does Andy know you’re okay?”

I shook my head just as my phone went off again. Of course, it was Andy. I answered it. “I’m alright.” I said, before he could even say anything.

“Oh my god, Loralei, where are you?” He wasn’t crying, but he was worried, scared, even, for me. 

“I’m at Mama Coma’s house.” I said. “CC’s here. I’m alright.”

“I’m so fucking sorry, Loralei, I don’t know what happened. I mean, I should’ve never let him hit you like that.”

Oh. Oh god. He doesn’t realize that was an accident. He’s still pissed at CC for hitting me. I admit, it still hurt, but it wasn’t like CC meant it. “No, it was my fault that happened.” I said. “My fault, got me?”

“It was not.” Andy seethed. “That bastard, hitting his own sister. What kind of fucking behavior is that?”

“No, Andy, it was my fault.” I said. “He didn’t mean it, I swear.” 

He sighed. “I’m just glad you’re alright. I love you, Loralei.”

“Love you too.” I replied. “Bye.”

“Bye.” He said, and hung up.

“I still don’t like the fact that you’re dating him.” CC said after I’d put my phone away. “He’s not good for you, Wolfy. I know you don’t see it, but he’s not your type.” I shook my head, not even deigning that worth an answer. We stayed quiet for a few minutes, him sitting awkwardly next to me, me ignoring him, until he started to talk again. “I’m just glad you’re okay. How hard did I… Did I…?”

“Hit me?” I finished his sentence, unbuttoning my vest and pulling my shirt up to show him his own knuckle prints, now bruised and all blue and green on my side. “Pretty damn hard, Christian.”

His eyes widened, and he dropped his head. “I’m so fucking sorry, Loralei,” He said, his eyes never leaving my bruise. “I didn’t think…”

“Yeah. You didn’t think.” I cut him off. “That’s the problem, CC. You need to calm the fuck down and mind your own business.”

“I said I was sorry!” He said, seeing how I’d turned this around onto him again. “I didn’t mean to hit you, Loralei, I’m sorry!”

“This bruise would’ve been on Andy then.” I said, pointing to the mass of blue and green. “Would you rather have hit your own singer and ripped the band apart, or hit me and had to deal with it for awhile?”

“Fuck the band!” He yelled, holding back tears as he stood up and stepped towards the door. “If I could go back and fix this, but I had to quit BVB, I would, Loralei! I messed up fucking bad, don’t you get it? This is all a huge disaster, and it’s my fault. I hurt you! It’s already ripping the band apart! Andy’s pissed at me, and Jinxx is on his side!” My eyes widened, but just barely. I didn’t realize this was such a big deal to the rest of them. “Ashley’s just siding with you, and Jake is staying out of it. If Andy wants to kick me out, he could. He’s the only original member left, Loralei! This is all just one big fucking mess, and I caused it.” He stormed out, and I heard the roar of an engine as he pulled away. 

What had I done?


	11. Back at Home

I sat on the couch in shock for almost 10 minutes after CC had left, and then realized that I should probably go after him. I said goodbye to Mama Coma and got into CC’s car, driving home, taking the shortest way I knew so I could (hopefully) catch him before he had brewed up too much anger. Killing the engine, I ran inside and upstairs, to where his bedroom door was cracked. It was dark inside, and the sun had already long since set, so it seemed like a void, a forever blackness that stretched on and on and on. I knocked on the door gently. “Ceece?” I called softly. “Chrissy, I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t know how big this was.”

It was only after I’d already started talking that I actually saw him. He was hunched over on his bed, head in his hands, fingers pulling at his dark black hair, his eyes squeezed shut. He didn’t answer me for quite a while, so I came in quietly, sitting by him on the bed. I put my arm over his back. “Hey,” I said softly. “It’s all okay, Chrissy, I forgive you.” He shook his head, and I reached up for his fingers, rubbing his knuckles gently until he let go of his hair, just holding his head. “Really, it’s all okay.”

“Can you make Andy see that?” He seethed quietly into his palms. “Or Jinxx? Or Ash? It’s really only Jake that I can count on right now, Wolfy.”

“I know” I said gently. “I’ll talk to them, okay? It’s all alright, you’ll see.”

He laughed humorlessly. “You sound just like Mom.” He leaned into my side and I bit my cheek to keep from wincing. His shoulder hit on the bruise on my ribs, and it hurt, truly, but I wasn’t about to ruin the moment. “Thanks, Wolfy, it helps.”

I nodded, my arm still around his back. This felt big, this moment, and my heart seemed to skip a beat from how much emotion it was feeling. Having my arms around CC like this felt backwards, like something a little sister should never have to do. Seeing him cry felt like something private, something raw, something I shouldn’t be seeing, but that’s what made me not be able to take my eyes off of him. I closed my eyes and he sighed, sitting up and smiling at me, switching on his bedside light. The warm glow it gave off made his hair stand up like a halo around his face as he turned back to me, a soft smile on his tear-streaked face. I smiled back, taking my arm from around his shoulders. “See?” I said. “It’s getting better already.”

He laughed deep in his throat, wiping a hand across his face. “If you end up telling the band about all this, could you leave out the part where I was crying like a baby?” He asked, still smiling.

“Hey, I happen to think crying is very manly.” I said, grinning at him and punching him softly in the shoulder. “It shows off your sensitive side.”

“Yeah, yeah, we all know I’m a big softie.” He laughed again, and this time I laughed with him. 

“Now.” I said, standing up and holding out my hand. “I’m starving. What about you?”

He smiled, taking my hand and standing up. I had to dig my heels into the floor to help him get up, and when he did, I almost fell over backwards, but somehow we mad it downstairs to finish off a half of a pizza that was in the fridge. We ate in silence, and about halfway through my second piece, a text rang through on my phone. I picked it up to read it, and found that it was from Juliet. “Loralei?” It said simply, a second coming in seconds after. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m alright.” I typed back. “Why?”

“Twitter rumors.” She shot back. “They’re saying you ran away and haven’t been found.”

“I’m found. I’m at home.” I replied before opening Twitter to shoot a message to all my followers. “I’m found, guys, stop spreading rumors. Everything’s fine. :) So long and goodnight.”

Juliet’s next text shot in. “Good. We need to get together girlie. Tomorrow?”

“Agreed.” I texted back. “Hot Topic?”

“Yesh. Noon?”

“Hiss. We don’t go out in the sun.” I replied, smiling as I typed. “We’re vampires who spend Vampire Money.”

“MCR!” She texted back in milliseconds, and I grinned. Me and my puns. “Alright. 3:30?”

“No, noon.” I said, just to tick her off. “See you there.”

“Who’re you texting?” CC asked as he polished off his third piece of pizza, wiping his hands on his jeans. “Andy?”

“No, actually.” I said, and his eyebrows shot up. “Juliet. We’re going out tomorrow, at noon.”

“I’m glad to see this fiasco hasn’t hurt your social life.” He replied scathingly, rolling his eyes at me. “One day, two concerts and drama, the next day, the world!”

“That’s how it goes.” I said, grinning at him just as a phone call came in. “Speak of the devil…” This one WAS Andy. I slid to answer. “Hello?”

“You alright, Lo?” he said simply. Kind of a blanket statement in this situation.

“We already established this.” I replied in a bored voice. “I’m fine, CC’s fine, it’s my fault this happened, CC’s not the bad guy.”

“I know, and I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that earlier. I’m…”

“I swear to god, if one more person apologizes to me, I’m gonna kill you all.” I seethed, and Andy laughed. “I’m serious.”

“That’s my girl.” Andy said, and I could hear the smile in his voice. “Are you SURE that you’re okay? Be truthful here, Lo.”

“I’m great.” I replied. “I’d be even better if everyone stopped worrying. You’re not still mad at CC, are you?”

“You can bet your ass I’m mad.” He said, his voice going back serious. “I’m not gonna, like, kill him or anything, but yeah, the anger’s there.”

“It wasn’t his fault.” I said again, rolling my eyes as I took a bite of my pizza. “I jumped in front of him. He didn’t mean it, Andy.”

“I dunno… He could’ve stopped. I’m still mad at him.”

“I’m mad at you, then. Every second you’re mad at CC, I’ll be mad at you.” I replied, and CC smirked from across the table. 

“Baby, really?” He asked, and I could hear the pleading in his voice.

“Don’t ‘Baby’ me! We’re currently not speaking, Andrew.” I replied in a terse voice, trying not to laugh as CC cracked up in front of me. “Please try again later.”

“Loralei,” He tried again, but I cut him off.

“Uh-uh! Nope, nope, nope! Not talking. Remember? Good night, Mr. Biersack.” I hung up on him, grinning, and CC howled in laughter from across the table.

“Goodnight, Mr. Biersack!” He mimicked from across the table. “That was GOLD, Wolfy, pure gold. You sure told him!”

I smiled back, taking a huge bite of my pizza. “I aim to please.” I said around the pepperoni goodness. “Annoying people is my specialty.” I picked up my phone, changing my voicemail recording. “Hi, it’s Loralei Coma, and you’ve missed me! If this is Mr. Biersack, we’re currently not speaking for reasons. Just reasons. Feel free to leave a message, and I’ll call you back. Unless it’s Andy. Unless he says he’s sorry. Okay, beep!” And I ended the recording, with CC laughing behind me. 

“Oh my god, Wolfy, he’s gonna hate hearing that.” CC said, smirking at the thought, and then… Andy called. “Let it go to voicemail!” CC pleaded grinning. “I wanna hear how he reacts.”

So I did, and as soon as Andy left a message, I played it over speaker. “What the fuck, Lo?” He stormed over the answering machine. “You’re serious. Okay. I’ll think about forgiving CC, okay? Just talk to me again. Okay bye.”

I grabbed CC’s phone off the counter, handing it to him. “Text Andy for me.” I instructed. “Say, “This is CC. Loralei says since you’re thinking about forgiving me, she’ll think about speaking to you.”

He grinned as he typed my message and sent it, waiting for a reply. It came quickly. “Tell her this is ridiculous.”

“She says you don’t need a response, as you’re not on speaking terms, Mr. Biersack.” CC typed back quickly, grinning. “Night, Andy.” And he shut off his phone after he sent it, throwing it onto the counter with a whoop. “We showed him, didn’t we, Wolfy?” He cheered.

I laughed, giving him a high five. “We sure did!” I grinned, jumping up and striking a classic Gerard Way pose. “The Fab Family strikes again!”


	12. The Next Day

Andy called back three times over the night. I checked his messages in the morning, though, after I woke up. “Lo? I said I’d think about it, okay? I mean, I can’t just… forgive him. Talk to me, please? Okay. Bye.” Number two. “Loralei, this is ridiculous. Don’t do this to me, please? Just talk to me. Baby, please?” Number three actually came in this morning, around 7:00 AM. “Loralei, pick up the phone. Answer your texts? Look, I apologize about last night. I didn’t mean to disrespect you. Just call me back?”

Did he even realize that he was quoting Falling In Reverse? This was ludicrous. There’s so much better things to quote! I mean, he could make up his own words if he really wanted to, but no, he had to use Ronnie Radke’s. I shook my head, opening twitter and sending a single tweet. “Morning, followers! If a certain Mr. Biersack is reading this, then we’re still not speaking. ;) Have a wonderful day, my Lo Riders! ~xoxolo”

Woah. 140 characters on the nose. I was getting good at this Twitter game. Okay. I looked at the clock, reading that it was already 9:12. I heard CC thumping around downstairs, and went to get up when a pain shot through my ribs, making me squeak in agony and lay back down, curling up into a little ball. This bruised ribs thing was not fun. I tried again, stretching out and cringing as I did so, then standing, and boy, was that just great. I hobbled over to the mirror to lift my shirt’s hem and check out my bruise, and let me tell you, it wasn’t pretty. It was all purple and green and blue and yellow, still all splotchy, and you still could see the imprint of CC’s ring in the middle of it. I sighed, putting down my shirt and going out to the kitchen, still in my fuzzy batman pajamas and a white V-neck shirt. “Sleeping Beauty has awoken!” CC said, throwing his arms wide in a bad imitation of jazz hands. “Morning, Wolfy. How’s the ribs?”

“Fine.” I lied, sitting down in a kitchen chair and wincing as the arm hit against my side. 

“No they’re not.” He said, pain in his eyes. “I hit you too hard for you to be fine. Don’t lie to me.” He pulled me out of the chair and back to my feet. “Show me.” I lifted the hem of my shirt, showing him the bruises on my ribs and watching as his eyes went wide, and then filled with regret. “I’m so sorry, Wolfy, I wish I could take it back.”

I laughed humorlessly, dropping my shirt. “It’s alright, Ceece, it’ll heal. I’m fine.” I said, smiling at him and popping a bagel into the toaster. “It’s my own fault for jumping in front of you like that. I thought we already went over all of this yesterday, though, it’s in the past.” He nodded silently as he scrambled an egg for himself. When my bagel popped out, I cream cheese-d it and ate it, crunching through it thoughtfully. “Juliet and I are going out today.” I said out of the blue. 

He looked up from his plate of eggs. “That’s good! I haven’t seen much of her in a few weeks. You need some girl time.”

“Yes sir, Dr. Coma, sir.” I mock saluted with my bagel, and he laughed. “One order of girl time, coming right away, sir!” 

He shook his head as he took another bite of eggs, smiling and mumbling “Girls,” under his breath.

“What was that?” I stood from the table, ignoring the pain in my ribs as I grinned fiercely at him. “What did you mumble, Dr. CC, sir?”

“Girls.” He said louder, and I jumped at him, jumping on his back like I used to when I was eight, my arms going around his neck and my legs around his waist. He staggered for a moment before he caught his balance. “Help!” He yelled. “The bedhead monster has attacked! Somebody save me!” He grabbed my arms, flipping me up over his shoulder and fireman’s carrying me to the living room, where he deposited me on the couch. “The bedhead monster in her native habitat.” He observed, grinning over me.

“Hey!” I said, laughing, and I threw a throw pillow at him. (What a good name for them, huh? THROW pillows for THROWING at CC. It’s funny because… never mind. You get it.) “I’m not a bedhead monster!”

“Then you reeaaaalllyyy messed up your fringe this morning.” He teased, knowing full well that I hadn’t even started on any of that yet. 

I shook my head, grinning, and got up off the couch. “On that note, I’m gonna go fix my hair, along with my outfit. I’ve gotta be ready to go with Jules today. We’re leaving at noon.”

“It’s like 9:30!” He said, perplexed. “How much time do you need?”

“All the time.” I teased. “I’d like to have time to sit down before she gets here, y’know.”

He nodded suspiciously as I went back up the stairs and into my room to find clothes. I went to my closet, pulling out a black leather skirt that went to just above my knee, a pair of white tights with a pale grey skull motif, and a white button-down shirt, with another tight black vest, this one more of a corset with a collar and straps. I was feeling the whole Goth vibe today, and decided to embrace it the best I could. I, again, had the first three buttons undone on my shirt and the first cuff one unsnapped, but soon realized that this whole corset-and-bruises idea wasn’t a very good one. I winced as I got it on, loosening the hidden side straps a notch so I could comfortably wear it. I opted for my BVB cross, my gray skull earrings, and left out bracelets. But just for today. I slipped on a pair of sexy black studded boots and then went to deal with the mess that was my hair. 

I brushed it, straightened, it, and went sky high with the fringe again, styling it just so that it would stick up in all the right places, and then… makeup. I shuddered at the thought. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love makeup, but it’s so easy to fuck up. Foundation (a shade paler than usual), powder (normal), dark red (almost magenta) lipstick, un-glossed, a kind of daytime smoky eye thing, perfect wings on my eyeliner, and mascara. I felt like something was missing, though… But I couldn’t figure out what. I turned this way and that in the mirror before pronouncing it good enough and moving on, back out to the living room. I straightened my vest as I did, plopping down in my chair as I rounded the corner and smiling at CC. “Hi, Ceece.” I said. “I’m ready for the day now.”

“I can see that.” He said, obviously not dressed up. He was in a faded pair of jeans and a Led Zeppelin tee shirt, his hair not really brushed, his face not really shaven. “You sure you’re only going out with Juliet and not a bunch of guys or something?”

“I don’t even wanna SEE a bunch of guys right now!” I laughed humorlessly, rolling my eyes. “I’m done with guys, at least for a little while.”

“So you and Andy still aren’t talking?” He asked, raising an eyebrow and smirking.

“Didn’t you see my tweet? We’re not currently speaking.” I said, grinning as I stood to go find my purse and glancing at the clock as I did. It was already almost 11, so I had maybe an hour to eat and stuff before Juliet got here. After I found my purse (Black, quilted, tiny skull clasp) I went downstairs and rummaged around in the fridge, looking for anything half edible and maybe decent tasting. I checked behind CC’s beer, CC’s nasty microwave-ready cardboard pizza, CC’s equally nasty smelling unidentifiable leftovers, and couldn’t find anything. “Ceece!” I called, shutting the door. “There’s no food!” 

“There’s plenty of food!” He argued, standing up and coming into the kitchen, opening the fridge and peering inside. “We have… uhm… pizza… and Chinese noodle crap…” He shut the fridge, going to a cupboard. “And… peanut butter and bread… and this jam stuff Mom gave us. And chicken noodle soup.”

“I mean actual food. Like, stuff I can eat NOW.” I pointed out, looking dejectedly around the kitchen. “I guess I’ll just have a peanut butter sandwich.”

“See?” he said, grinning. “Peanut butter sandwiches are food. We do too have food!”

I rolled my eyes as I got out the stuff and quickly scarfed down a sandwich, double checking my makeup in the hall mirror before sitting down again in the living room, not really watching whatever stupid TV show CC was engrossed in this time. I lazed around for awhile before I heard the crunch of tires on gravel, and then Juliet’s knock at the door. I could always tell it was her when she knocked. Knock-knock-pause-knock-knock-knock. I hopped up off the chair, running over and flinging open the door with a grin. “Jules!” I said. Ready for a day of awesome?”

She was, as always, dressed impeccably in a pair of skintight black jeans and a hot pink leather jacket, her long, straight black hair brushed back into a high ponytail, her eyeliner perfect. Standing next to her always made me self-conscious, because of how effortlessly perfect she was. She grinned fiercely, bouncing on the toes of her adorable booties. “Hot Topic, here we come!” She squealed. “I’m ready!” Looking behind me, she noticed CC sitting there for the first time. “Oh, hi, CC! How’ve you been?”

Again with the people pleasing. CC smiled easily, lounging on our couch. “I’m doing well. How’s Juliet been?”

“Juliet’s been good.” She giggled, before turning back to me. “Ready?”

“Ready steady.” I grinned, running out the door with a backwards wave to CC and sliding into the passenger seat of her car. “To Hot Topic!”

She giggled as she started the car, rolling smoothly out of my driveway and starting towards town. “I heard they got some new Pierce The Veil merch in today.” She beamed as she rounded the corner to the mall. “You lucky bastard, being on stage with Vic yesterday. How was it?”

“The stage?” I asked, and she nodded. “Well, it was made of wood…”

“I know that, idiot, I mean HOW WAS THE STAGE?!” She said, giggling.

“It was amazing.” I sighed, slumping back into her seat and wincing as pain shot through my ribs. “Vic is such a nice guy, and funny, too! He’s even better looking in real life, up close… It’s hard to resist the Sexican.” I teased.

“Even for Andy?” She asked, and I shot her a look. “Oh, don’t look at me like that, everyone knows you’re dating. It’s obvious.”

“Andy rates above the Sexican,” I said, blushing as I grinned. “Especially in hugs. And looks. Vic’s a solid 9, but Andy probably scores…”

“An 11?!” She interrupted me, laughing.

“Sure, yes, an 11.” I giggled, picturing his fierce blue eyes and high cheekbones in my mind. “But we’re not speaking.”

“Why, what happened?” She asked, concerned. “Does this have to do with those Twitter rumours I saw last night, about you running from the venue?”

“Maybe.” I admitted, absentmindedly running a hand to my bruise. “But it’s mostly fixed. Just CC and Andy are mad at eachother right now.”

She gasped. “Did you not tell CC about… y’know…?”

“Me and Andy? I hadn’t mentioned it yet.” I admitted sheepishly. “But I was going to, I swear! I just hadn’t… found the time…”

“Oh my God, Loralei, that’s too adorable! CC’s going all macho big brother on you two!” She squealed just as she swerved into a parking space. “That’s too cute.”

Just then, my phone rang, and I glanced down at the screen. It was Andy, of course, and I almost answered it. Almost. Juliet watched, wide-eyed, while I let it go to voicemail, and then switched over to listen to it. “Loralei, this is ridiculous. Call me, please? Can’t we just talk, baby? I’m sure we could work this out. Okay. Bye, I guess.”

“Looooo!” Juliet squealed. “You gotta call him!”

“Not until he apologizes to CC.” I said smugly, tucking my phone in my purse and stepping out of her car. “He’ll have to, sooner or later.”

She nodded as we walked through the mall gates and took the shortest route to HT that we could. Stepping into the store felt like a wave of cool air, a relief, a burden off my shoulders. I loved it in there SO MUCH, and I swear, it loved me. I had barely gotten past the 5SOS merch up front when somebody spotted us. “OMG!” She said as she noticed me. “You’re Lo Coma, right?”

I nodded. “Yes ma’am, I am.” I rhymed, grinning. “And who might you be?”

“I’m Gianna Diane, @haveasoul on Twitter! You followed me last week!” She said, grinning as she pushed her dark brown hair out of her eyes and fidgeted with her employee name tag. “It’s SO awesome to meet you!”

“Awh, thank you!” I smiled at her. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

“Actually… yeah.” She said, looking curiously at me. “What’s going on between you and Andy?”

“He’s just mad at CC, and I’m not talking to him until they forgive eachother.” I said simply as I checked out a new bracelet design.

“Oooh.” She said, before turning to Juliet. “And you’re Juliet Simms, right? You’re even prettier in person!”

“Thanks!” She beamed, self-consciously tucking her ponytail behind her shoulder. 

Gianna nodded shyly, suddenly realizing she didn’t have anything else to say before blushing and turning around, disappearing into a stand of bracelets and necklaces and stuff and pretending to have something rather important to do. I laughed as we watched her go. “Gianna’s kind of adorable.” I mentioned to Juliet while we browsed through the new T-shirts. 

She nodded, not taking her eyes from an Andy Sixx sweater. God, how ancient that print was! “Yeah. Followers are shy creatures.” She said slowly, checking the price tag before going to look at another thing. “Do you happen to get a discount for being CC’s sister?”

“I could try.” I said, watching as Gianna ran to the counter to help a guy check out. “But wouldn’t that kind of be abusing my family?”

“Not in the name of this adorable shirt.” She said, pulling out a form-fitting black Sleeping With Sirens shirt. “And certainly not in the name of this yummy perfume, either!” She grabbed a bottle off the countertop, and then looking at me with a pout.

I laughed. “Tell you what, I’ll buy it for you.” I said, checking the price tag. All her stuff came out to $30, so I figured that wasn’t too much. Add mine (A new bracelet, a PTV shirt with the Collide The Sky album cover on it, and a set of new black nail polishes), and it all came up to $61.35. I could do that. 

“Thankyouthankyouthankyou!” She squealed, hugging me. “You’re the absolute best, Lo!”

I shook her off with a smile as I set all of our stuff on the counter in front of a flustered looking Gianna. She rang it up, and then, with a sly smile, pressed some buttons back there that worked the total out to be a solid $45. “I gave you guys a discount.” She said sweetly as I handed her a fifty, a perplexed look on my face. “For, like, knowing the Veil Brides.”

“Hey, I don’t deserve a discount just for that!” I said, attempting to hand over another $20 with it, but Gianna pushed it back at me. 

“Nope, you deserve it. It’s on me.” She said, smiling, as she handed us our bags. “Just give me a shoutout on Twitter, and we’ll be even, okay?”

“Wait, I’ve got an idea.” I reached into my purse, and Jules instantly knew what we were doing. She got on Gianna’s left, I on her right as I pulled out my phone and snapped a selfie, all three of us smiling dazzlingly, even if Gianna was looking a bit dazed. “There, Now…” I uploaded it to Twitter and Insta, tagging it with “@haveasoul is the sweetest girl I know! We definitely need to hang together sometime. #luvUgirl”

“No, really, you don’t have to…” She stammered as I pressed the upload button.

“It’s done.” I said, grinning. “Thanks, Gianna.”

And with that, Juliet and I left the store, our bags in tow behind us. “That was too sweet of you!” Jules gushed, grinning. “She’s never gonna forget that.”

“I know.” I said, grinning back at her. “That’s why I did it. I don’t wanna seem like a pretentious ass.”

Juliet laughed. “You’re anything but, Lo.” I smiled, waving off her compliment with a demure shake of my head as we stepped back into the car. “Now. How was it?”

“It?”

“Kissing Andy.”


	13. In Which a Shocking Secret is Revealed

It was almost a week later, and my bruise was healing, thank God, but it still hurt like hell. I could stand and walk without it aching too badly, which was a plus, but it had turned a nasty shade of green and prevented me from wearing half of my vests. Today was a lazy day, so I didn’t even bother getting dressed. I stayed in a pair of sweatpants and stole one of CC’s monstrous hoodies, putting my hair up the only way I could: In two little pigtails on the top of my head. When I walked downstairs, CC was on the phone, but he still turned to wave at me. He snorted when he saw how I was dressed, before turning back to the phone with a “No, no, I’m listening. You should just see Loralei.” He covered the mouthpiece and whispered “It’s Ashley.” 

I nodded, grinning. “He’s not mad at you, is he?” I whispered loudly.

CC shook his head, before laughing into the phone. “Yeah, it’s pretty hilarious. I think she was hoping I wouldn’t notice she’d stolen my favorite sweater…” I glared daggers at him, and heard Ash’s laugh through the phone, even though I was a full 6 feet away from CC. “Yep. Yeah, she’s a pain sometimes…”

I rolled my eyes, going to the fridge and pulling out a cold breakfast burrito from the little taco stand in the food cart lot, popping it into the microwave and nuking it for 30 seconds as I listened to CC. “Yeah, no, he hasn’t.” He said, his voice going serious and becoming quieter. “Don’t tell Loralei, but I don’t think he will. I feel like I’m in hot water here, bro.” 

Of course, they were talking about Andy. He still hadn’t forgiven CC, and I’d spoken maybe a handful of words to him this past week. Being away from Andy like this was killing me, but hey, I don’t go against my word. The microwave beeped, and I pulled out my burrito, setting teeth into it just as CC rounded the corner, a fake smile on his face, trying to pretend that they hadn’t just been discussing Andy. I smiled back, mine just as strained. Andy had stopped calling a few days ago, and stopped texting just after that, and I was afraid he’d forgotten about me. I pulled my phone out of my sweatpants’ pocket and bleakly checked the display: Nothing. Not even a Twitter notification. I sighed, shoving it back in my pocket, and then pulled it back out, deciding to do something to take my mind off of Andy. I was gonna get dressed, I was gonna look fierce, and I was gonna go visit Juliet for some girl time. Maybe we’d see Andy out and about while we were strutting our stuff, and maybe he’d feel bad enough about all this to apologize. Even if we didn’t, I could still look hot for myself. A look of resolute determination on my face, I marched upstairs and threw open the doors to my closet, surveying my choices. I pulled out a pair of black skinny jeans, a white and galaxy print Captain America V-neck and a little studded leather jacket, which I draped over my chair as a reminder as I pulled out my kitten-heeled boots and quickly did my makeup. Pulling on my jacket, I grabbed a pair of tight leather gloves and a few polished silver bracelets, slapping them on as I walked out to my car and slid comfortably into the driver’s seat. I started her engine, bringing her to purr like a wildcat, ready to go. “There you are, Adria.” I said quietly, stroking a finger along her gearshift as I backed out of the driveway, my grin getting bigger and bigger as I turned off and sped down the road to Juliet’s. 

Yes, I named my car. Let’s not judge. Adria is beautiful.

Anyways. Watching the highway speed past me was an amazing feeling, with me back in the driver’s seat. I hadn’t driven myself anywhere for quite a long time, and I forgot how good it felt to slam Adria into gear, feel her shift under me and speed off just like that. I had to slow down too soon, though, as soon as I hit the edge of the edge of town, I was behind another car. I groaned, rolling my eyes. I had hoped to get all the way to Juliet’s house just playing with my car, but apparently that wasn’t gonna happen. I took the soonest turnoff to Jules’ house, turning corners probably faster than I should, a devious smirk on my face as I rounded the corner to her driveway and slowed down so I’d be able to make the hairpin turn up it. Her drive was never meant to be turned into from this direction, but oh well, Adria and I could do it anyway. I crested the hill to get in view of her house, and my breath caught in my throat, the smirk disappearing from my face, my eyes falling. There, sitting in my parking spot, was a navy blue Camaro, its paint job sparkling at me menacingly.

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

I would recognize that car anywhere. That was the car I had slid into almost two months ago on my way to the park. That was the car that had driven up to give me back my purse when I had forgotten it. That car was…. That was Andy’s car.

In Juliet’s driveway.

My breath coming in short, quick gasps, I backed down her driveway slowly until she couldn’t see my car if she looked out the window and dialed her number, my head in a daze. “Mmm… Hello?” She answered, sounding like she was about to laugh.

“Hey Jules!” I said, trying to sound happy. “What are you up to today?”

Just then, in the background, I heard something that almost broke my heart. It was Andy. “Juliet, put the phone down!” He pleaded in the background, and she giggled. “I’m serious!”

“Shhhhhh, shut up!” She whispered, covering the mouthpiece of her phone. “It’s Loralei.” She then uncovered it, just as tears were sparking in my eyes. “Uhm… I’m kinda busy this morning, Lo, but I could maybe hang out this afternoon? Wanna drop by around two?”

I had stopped listening though, my eyes cloudy, a single tear running down my cheek. “Yeah, whatever.” I said, trying and failing at sounding happy. “I might stop by later, okay? Bye.” 

I hung up just as I could hear her trying frantically to get me to stay on the line. “Lo, wait, Loral-” Click. I hung up, tears freefalling down my face. I let Adria’s engine roar, not even caring if she heard as I sped down her driveway, Adria roaring as we took that hairpin corner at nearly 50. I flew down the road, not even really knowing where I was going, slamming the gear shift as I tore through town, my heart flowing liquid down my face. That was it. Maybe I didn’t really need Andy after all. I mean, I’m a strong bitch, I’d be okay without him. Right? Right. 

I was almost okay again, until I looked where my autopilot reckless driving had taken me.

I was sitting in front of that park, that little park that Andy and I had our first date at. I saw his sparkling blue eyes as we spun on the merry-go-round, his smirk as we had a competition to see who could swing higher, his laugh as we lay in a crumpled heap on the ground. The flood of memories brought my head to my steering wheel and a fresh wave of tears to my eyes. My hands gripped at my wheel, holding onto it like a life preserver until I heard an engine behind me. I looked out the window as an old, rusted out pickup truck drove by, the driver oblivious to my nearby anguish. That beat up truck looked like my heart felt: Jagged and decaying, covered in rust, scratching around on the inside of my chest. How could Andy do this to me? How could JULIET do this to me?! I wasn’t crying from sadness, I was crying from anger. I was pissed, pissed at both of them! My makeup, I knew, was running down my face, but I didn’t care. My face hardened into a determined expression in my rearview mirror, my eyeliner running down my face in streaks, my eyes hard as one last tear slipped down my cheek. Well, fuck them both. I was fine without them, and I could parade myself around town. I didn’t need either of them. I was strong. 

I drove to a little market just down the street and made my way into the back with my makeup bag in my pocket, going into the bathroom and washing my face in the cold water. Patting dry with a scratchy paper towel, I looked at myself in the mirror. My cheeks and eyes were red and puffy, but I knew how to fix this. I took out my palest foundation and smeared it all over my face, covering it with light powder and putting on dark blood red lipstick before looking inside for eyeliner. I outlined my entire eye, giving myself wings the size of China and filling them in to become a little point before putting on mascara and studying myself in the fluorescent lighting, deigning myself fierce enough to deal with. I reached into my bag, pulling a long chain wallet out and clipping it to my belt loop, then pulling out a spiked leather wristband and slapping it on as well. I was ready. I could go out without anyone and have just as much fun as I could alone.

I exited the store amidst the stares of the customers and the people behind the counter, smirking straight into the security cam as I slid back into Adria and revved the engine, taking off towards the center of town. I parked by the pavilion in which Hot Topic is located, and step out into the cool air, a smile on my face. I am Loralei Coma, and I am strong. I am strong, fierce, and I don’t need anybody except myself. 

I am free.


	14. In Which There is a Confrontation, and Some Wonderful Smut Beginnings

I strut my stuff around the pavilion, my kitten heels clicking dangerously on the pavement stones. I walk by Hot Topic, where I am followed by the eyes of shoppers and staff alike, especially Gianna’s, which watch me while stretched wide like saucers. I walk by Claire’s, where the preppy bitches of the world cower under my gaze, my smirk, my sheer awesomeness. I walk by Starbucks, where I hear a single yell, a shout of “Guys! It’s Lo Coma!” from somewhere in line. The poor, beautiful, emo soul that yelled in my favor was probably quickly and quietly killed by all the bitches waiting for their peppermint spice caramel mocha-macchiato frappa-crappa-whatever and their teeny weeny scary Chihuahua dogs. I walk by JD Denim and Co Shoes, where I get waved at by Gustav out front. He’d taken my last order for my leather heels, and got them custom done for me. I walk by all these places, see all these faces, smile for the crowd like I cannot back down, but Andy, and Andy and Juliet, stain my memory and bring the fierce gleam right out of my eye. I still can’t believe it, I think as I stop at this little obscure coffee shop for my mocha. I still can’t believe Juliet would do something like that. Not to me.

“What’s wrong, honey?” The barista, Janessa, asked me, resting her pudgy arms on the countertop and looking at me intently. “You seem down; tell me what’s up.”

I smiled weakly. “Boy trouble.” I answered, and ran a hand through my hair. “I think he’s cheating on me with Juliet.”

Janessa looked shocked as a hand as dark as her coffee went to her mouth. “Oh my god, honey, have you asked Juliet about it?”

“Uhm… No, not yet. I mean, it’s all so new. I went to go to her house and Andy’s car was in her driveway, and I called her, and what I heard…” I shook my head. 

“Well, if this Andy boy is really worth all this trouble, everything will sort itself out.” She said, smiling softly at me. “And if not, tell Janessa, okay? I never miss a chance to beat someone down.”

I laughed. “Okay, Ness. Thank you, by the way.” I said, standing to go and strut some more. Strutting made almost any day better, and I definitely needed it. 

“Any time, honey.” Her voice followed me out the door along with the café’s scent of vanilla, and I stopped in the fresh air, a hint of a smile returning to my lips. I had an idea.

I went back to sit at a hidden bench along the side of Hot Topic, stopping and blowing a kiss at a group of dazed looking college boys from the local U, and then pulled out my phone. I could not believe I was doing this, not really, but I pressed speed dial 2, and held the phone to my ear.

It was answered, just like my prayers, on the 2nd ring. “Loralei?” I heard a thump in the background and a muffled voice behind his, one I couldn’t quite make out, one I hoped to hell wasn’t Juliet.

His voice. I forgot how much I missed his voice. “Andy?” I said, my shield of fierce cracking, just as I had feared it would.

“Are you… Are you okay?” He asked, obviously hearing the crack in my voice. “Where are you?”

“We need to talk.” I said, blowing off his questions. “Can you meet me at Hot Topic, in that little pavilion?” 

He sighed. “Yeah, I’ll be there in ten.”

“Good.” I said, listening to the open line for a minute before saying anything more. “Bye, Andy.”

“Bye, Loralei.” He said, just as I hung up.

This is stupid. I am stupid. What the fuck was I thinking?! I couldn’t talk to him, not like this! But I had already fucking called him; I couldn’t stand him up, not like this. I sat at a little table, scrolling mindlessly through Twitter while I waited, not really reading the posts, not really noticing anything until I saw a navy blue Camaro whip into the parking lot across the street and Andy jump out, scanning his eyes across the marquee until he saw me. He looked good, I have to admit, but haggard, worried. “Loralei!” he said, running over to me, his blue eyes crinkled in a smile. His hair was wet, like he’d just gotten out of the shower. “I’ve missed you, baby!”

He obviously expected me to stand up and tackle him in a hug, but I didn’t. I sat there, eyes on my coffee cup, and then, slowly, brought them up to him. “Andy.” I said simply, and he sat down. “Is there anything you need to tell me?”

He looked kind of surprised and hurt, studying my placid face. “Like… I’m sorry? Shouldn’t I be telling that to CC, though?”

I nodded. “That’s a start.”

He sighed, resting his elbow on the table. “What is it, Lo? Look, baby, I’m sorry, but I don’t know what you want me to tell you.”

I scooted my chair closer to his, eyes softening, and leaned my head into his neck, taking a breath for a moment as he relaxed before sitting back up enough to where my mouth was level with his ear. “I want you to tell me,” I whispered harshly, tears gathering in my eyes again, “why you smell like Juliet’s perfume.”

I stood quickly, knocking my chair over as I grabbed my mocha and ran to my car, sliding into the driver’s seat and slamming it into reverse, peeling out of the parking lot with Andy yelling “Wait, Loralei, I can explain!” behind me. 

I drove back home, slamming my shifter into place, screaming down a backroad at 80 mph to clear my anger. Who did Andy think he was, anyways, cheating on me after a week? I shook my head, my eyes glancing into the rearview mirror to see… A car on my tail. A navy blue Camaro, to be exact. With a stone-faced Andy behind the wheel, following close behind me. Stone-faced Andy was a mad Andy, and the last time I’d seen that face was when CC had punched me accidentally in the ribs, when I thought Andy was so mad that he was gonna kill CC. 

And now that was directed at me. 

I sped up, my foot flooring the accelerator, and I took off around a corner, speeding into my driveway with Andy just behind me. I shut off my car and struggled with my seatbelt for a moment, grabbing my purse as it unclicked and trying to make it to the gate before Andy got out of his car. Of course, I didn’t. I had the gate barely open when he came up behind me, and I ran inside it, a squeak escaping my lips. I ran up the steps, almost tripping over one of them, and unlocking the door as quickly as I could. CC wasn’t home, wasn’t here to protect me from any anger Andy might have, and that genuinely scared me. I don’t know why I was so scared of him, but I was. Something in his eyes SCARED me. As soon as I got the house unlocked, I opened the door and tried to run in, but Andy took ahold of my wrist, his eyes burning bright. “Let me go!” I shrieked, tears freefalling down my nose as I tried to jerk my hand away from him. “Let me go, let me go, please!”

Andy held onto my wrist, stepping inside and shutting the door behind us and grabbing my other wrist in one easy motion. “What did you say to me?” He asked, his voice deadly calm. “What did you say to me back there?”

“Just let me go, please!” I cried, turning my face away from him and squeezing my eyes shut as he pulled my hands to his chest. “Andy, please!”

“No, what did you say to me?” He asked, a tendril of emotion creeping into his voice, his eyes still hard as ice. “What the fuck did you say to me, Loralei?” I squeaked a cry as Andy let go of one hand and turned my face back to him, and I opened my eyes. “What did you say?”

“Let me the fuck go!” I yelled, and Andy stared into my eyes for a second as I struggled, some of the hardness melting away and being replaced by something else, something I didn’t have a name for, and he pressed his lips to mine. The kiss was hard and passionate, nothing like the tender kisses we had shared before, and it opened up a new kind of desire inside of me, a seeming hole in my chest that had to be filled with his kisses. His hand that had moments before been on my wrist went to my head, pulling my hair, pulling me to him, and I whimpered against his lips. He had me up against the wall, his body pushing into mine, his hips trapping me against the smooth cream colored paint as his lips danced roughly with mine, and I loved every second of it. I had one hand on his neck, one hand on his chest as his hands scrabbled with my shirt, moving to pull it over my head. “Not… Not here.” I moaned against his lips.

He pulled back, looking at me with such undisguised lust that I almost laughed, except my laugh came out as a breathy, low chuckle. He picked me up and my legs went around his waist, him carrying me up the stairs to my bedroom, pushing me down on my bed with a low, sexy growl, and then he was on top of me again, his weight pressing me back into my mattress as he pulled my shirt over my head and ran his hands – and eyes – down my body, making me shiver. His touch was electric, causing me to arch my back and part my lips, letting a small moan escape my lips as his crashed into mine once again, pulling me to him. I fumbled with his shirt, pulling it off and throwing it to the floor, forgotten, as I ran my hands down his muscled chest, any hint of previous problems gone from my mind. In this moment, there was just me and Andy, my lust and his, just us, and I liked it that way. Things were so much simpler when the only rules to play by were primal. I kicked off my booties and he, never breaking our kiss, pulled off my skinny jeans as I fumbled with the button to his. His breath caught in his throat as he looked at me – really looked at me – lust rolling off him in waves, awe in his eyes. “Loralei…” He whispered huskily, his eyes burning holes of hot passion into mine, his hands almost shaking for every second he kept them off me. “I… I want you.”

All I had to do was nod. And that’s exactly what I did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehe, squee! So that just happened. Fangirl with me, please? Like, wow. That was fun to write. Andy should cover SWS’ song Déjà Vu, I think. I’d listen to it. It’d be like THE sexiest thing on the planet. Imagine him growling that into your earbuds… ;) 
> 
> Okay, but, if you want me to write a really smutty smut fic of what happened in between that chapter and the next one, post something on my profile and I’ll get to it eventually! Tell me! :3 IK I have some crazy followers, and I’m willing to write to their wants. And/or needs. I won’t judge; what you do whilst reading my fic is none of my business. Andy IS pretty amazing in bed, methinks. ;) At least, he is in Loralei’s POV. GAH THIS FIC IS SO HARD TO WRITE WITH ANDY STARING AT ME FROM MY BVB POSTER HE DOES NOT APPROVE HEHE. 
> 
> Okay, that is all. Continue reading. :3


	15. In Which Things Get Hella Complicated

Andy and I lay in my bed, my legs tangled around his, my head on his chest, his arm protectively around me. He murmured contentedly into my hair as I traced lazy circles over his chest with my finger. We lay there like that for quite a long time, relatively quiet and happy, before Andy spoke up. “What was it you meant earlier, about me at Juliet’s house?” He asked, his voice barely more than a whisper.

Ugh, leave it to Andy to bring things like that up at a time like this. “Nothing.” I said, smiling softly. “It’s no big deal, really. I was just being jealous.”

“Of Juliet?” Andy asked, laughing softly. I pressed my ear to his chest as he did. With my head on his chest, everything he said sounded deeper, richer, and more meaningful. “Don’t be jealous of Juliet, Lo, you’re worth so much more than she is.”

“I know…” I whispered back. “I don’t know… I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.” He said, craning his neck to kiss me softly. “There’s nothing for you to be sorry for. I’m the asshole, baby.” 

“You mean asshat?” I asked, referring to that first party CC had held. He laughed softly, and we were quiet for a moment before I talked again. “What were you doing at Juliet’s, anyways?”

He was quiet for a moment, shifting so my head rolled onto the pillow and he was facing me, our faces inches apart. “We were just talking.”

“About me?” I asked, blinking slowly.

“Of course. What else is better to talk about?” He smiled at me, his hair flopping across his face as I traced his tattoos with my finger. He sighed gently, closing his eyes and pulling me to his chest, resting his chin on top of my head. “I… I love you, Loralei.”

“I love you, too.” I answered softly, just as we heard the roar of an engine and tires hit the driveway. “Fuck, CC’s home!” I said, jumping out of bed and pulling on my jeans as Andy did the same thing. I pulled my shirt back on and looked in the mirror to see my hair deflated flat and my makeup smudged. “We gotta get downstairs. Come on, hurry, Andy!” 

He was pulling his shirt over his head and running a hand through his hair as we got to the bottom of the landing, and I slid into the kitchen as CC opened the door, pretending to fill two glasses of water. “Hi, CC!” I said a little too brightly. “Mr. Biersack here is gonna apologize to you, I think. We’re not talking yet.”

Andy smirked at me, and then turned to CC. “Yeah, sorry I overreacted.” He said, shrugging. “Are we cool?”

“I… guess so.” CC said, looking a bit overwhelmed as he put a soda down on the counter. “This is kind of… Sudden.”

Andy laughed. “I missed Loralei.” He confessed. “And I’m tired of not having band practice. But speaking of Loralei… Are we talking yet?” He asked, turning to me.

“FINALLY!” I yelled, mostly for show for CC, and ran and jumped into a hug, reaching a hand to his head and messing up his hair. “You stubborn, pig-headed asshat!”

CC laughed, but he still wasn’t very happy about me and Andy, you could tell. His mouth smiled, but his eyes didn’t, and that bothered me, but at least Andy and I were okay… I think. When I hugged him, though, I still smelled a trace of Juliet’s perfume, and my smile fell an octave. I would never be able to smell that perfume without thinking of this now, and that dampened everything a bit, but it’s okay! I could still make the best of a shitty situation, right? I love Andy, and he loves me, and that’s all that really, truly, positively, absolutely matters.

After Andy left, I pulled out my phone and decided to check Twitter. I hadn’t been on there in days, and I owed my followers an apology. “Hey, Lo Riders! Sorry I’ve been gone for so long, it’s complicated. But @andybvb and I are speaking again! Yay! Okay, that’s all. :) ~xoxolo”

One-forty on the nose again, damn! I was really good at this Twitter game! I clicked on my While You Were Gone feed to scroll through some of the biggest posts from the past few days, and my eyes instantly fell on one. @julietsimms had tweeted “With bae! Yay! #isitlove?” Attached to a selfie of her and Andy. In her house. I would recognize that couch anywhere. My heart seized; it seemed to forget how to beat for a few seconds, and I sucked in a shaky breath. Was she… joking? Like, I called some of my friends bae all the time. But not when they were my best friend’s boyfriend. That’s, like, against girl code. My hand flew to my mouth and I shook my head, closing the app and turning off my phone, staring at its blank, black screen in silence. She couldn’t mean it, could she?

Oh, but she could. I remembered back in sophomore year, when she stole my friend Scout’s boyfriend without a backwards glance. I remembered freshman year, when she stole a guy named Jacky from some older girl without remorse. I remembered in 8th grade, when she stole her (then) best friend’s boyfriend with a shoulder shrug and a single sorry. 

Would she do that to me?


	16. In Which Not a Lot Happens, But It's All Rather Entertaining

He loves me, he’s using me, he loves me, he’s using me… I sat in my yard pulling petals off of a flower that had sprung up in the sidewalk, the little yellow wisps falling to the walk below. Honestly, I hadn’t played this game since I was 12, but hey, it might tell me something. He loves me… no. I stared at the flower, at its single petal left on the stalk. I wouldn’t pick it. He loves me, and that’s the way it’s staying. I threw the stem as far as I could (not very far, actually, but it made it over the gate) and walked dejectedly up the stairs, slamming the door behind me and dramatically flopping on the couch. “Hey, Wolfy!” CC laughed, walking into the room as I groan-screamed loudly.

“Nothing makes sense.” I said, staring at the ceiling. “Did you ever like two people at once, CC?”

“You dog!” He yelled, throwing a pillow at me with a smirk. “Who is it? Isn’t Andy good enough for you?!”

“No, no, not me!” I laughed, sitting up. “I mean someone else. How do you tell when someone likes two people?”

CC shrugged. “I was never very good at hiding things.” He admitted. “Usually, you could tell if I liked two people at once if I came home with a handprint on my cheek and one less girlfriend.” I shook my head. Clearly CC wasn’t going to be any help. “Why don’t you ask Juliet?”

I shook my head vehemently. “No, not like this. It’s kind of… about her. Like, she’s why I’m asking.”

“Ohhhh…” CC’s mind seemed to click in understanding. “This is about Andy, isn’t it.” He wasn’t asking, he was stating a point. “If it helps, he’s not the type of guy to cheat on anyone, let alone you.”

I smiled. Of course CC would say that; he’s my brother, he has to. “Thanks, Chrissy.” I said, smiling wryly. “I really don’t know anymore, though; everything’s all messed up.”

“I told you I didn’t like you two dating.” He pointed out.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, I know.” I laughed, standing up. “You’re always right.” 

I stuck my tongue out at him and walked up the stairs to my room, going to get my phone. I picked it up and swiped the screen to find a new message from Andy. “Meow. This is Crow.”

That’s all it said. I stared at the phone blankly for a moment before laughing, realizing what he meant. His cat, Crow. I had completely forgotten! “Meow, Crow.” I typed back, a smile on my face. “This is Lo.”

Seconds later, a picture of Andy and his cat popped up, Andy grinning, Crow looking rather ticked at being held up. “Crow says hi lol” he texted, and I could almost hear the smile in his words. “How are you?”

“Hello Crow. ;) And I’m alright.” I texted back. “wyd?”

“Sitting with Crow, duh.” He replied. “Now I’m coming to get you, we’re going out.”

“We are?” I asked. “What if I decide I don’t want to go?”

“Then I will sit on your bed and stare at you all day until you actually want to do something.” He replied.

Oh god, my bed. I still couldn’t look at it without giggling and thinking what Andy and I had done in there. I mean, I get it’s not really a giggle type subject, but… Still. It was to my brain. “Alright then,” I texted back. “I might as well be ready for you.”

“That would be good.” Andy replied. “Be there in 10.”

TEN MINUTES?! I could barely decide on anything in 10 minutes! I threw my phone on the bed, flinging my closet doors open and grabbing out clothes, ending up with a Pierce The Veil shirt and a high-waisted black skinny jeans, paired with black ballet flats. All in all, it wasn’t a bad look, and after bracelets and my BVB cross, I could definitely pass for presentable. I ran to the bathroom, skidding to a halt in front of the mirror and grabbing a washcloth from under the sink, soaking it and washing my face. I hadn’t barely touched the cloth to my face when I heard Andy on the stairs, coming up. “Loralei?” He called from the landing. 

“In here!” I called from the bathroom, running the warm rag over my face before reaching for a towel. Andy walked in with a little smile on his face. “Hello, Andy.”

“Hey, Lo.” He came up behind me and pulled me to his chest, resting his chin on my head in a warm embrace. “Missed you.”

“It’s been like two days!” I laughed, turning to kiss him. “You couldn’t have missed me that bad.”

“Wanna bet?” He leaned up against the counter as I pulled my makeup bag from the cabinet. He watched as I pulled out bottles and palettes and tubes and pencils out, laying them on the counter before grabbing my foundation and dabbing it on. “I can miss someone hardcore.”

“Trust me, Andy.” I murmured, my eyes flitting to him in the mirror whilst I smirked. “Everything you do, you can do hardcore.”

“What was that?” He said, leaning closer to try to hear what I had said.

“Nothing!” I sang, laughing. He gave me an exasperated look as I giggled, putting on powder before I reached for my eyeliner. “Where are we going today?”

“Well…” Andy purred, coming up behind me and hugging me to his chest. “I was hoping we could redo that whole coffee fiasco the other day, minus the yelling.” 

I pulled my eyeliner away from my face just in time, miraculously not getting it anywhere it wasn’t supposed to be. I stood on my tiptoes and kissed Andy’s cheek before he let me go and I put on my eyeliner. “That would be nice.” I said, my powder barely hiding the blush that crept up the back of my neck. “I like coffee.”

My mind was REALLY on where our screaming match had led… My bed. Like, damn. I hadn’t ever expected it. It’s not like Andy was my first, but I was trying to be mean, dammit, fierce, and all it got me was screwed. Literally. Not that I minded. Hehe, I’m a horrible person. 

“I know you do.” Andy was saying as I finished my eyeliner and mascara, just lightly glossing my lips and deigning it good enough. I was about to do my hair when Andy grabbed my hands. “Don’t. You look amazing, just like this.” He said, holding up his hands like a picture frame with my face in it. “This is perfect.”

I smiled as he leaned down and kissed me, his full lips a perfect match for mine. “Okay.” I answered him as he took my hand and I walked out of the bathroom and down the stairs. “Hey, Ceece!” I called into the living room. “We’re going out!”

“Kay!” He called back, his eyes probably never leaving the TV screen or whatever. 

I shook my head, rolling my eyes, as I opened the door and, Andy behind me, walked down the driveway to slide easily into Andy’s navy blue Camaro. I absolutely loved this car, but seeing it gave me flashbacks to seeing it in Juliet’s driveway. I shook my head, trying to get rid of any negativity before Andy climbed in, smiling. “Ready, Lo?” He asked as I buckled up, dropping my black quilted purse on the floorboards. 

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” I said, smiling. 

He started the car, revving its engine just for fun before giving me a sly look. “You know what? He said, smirking. “You drive. I seem to remember you being one hell of a driver, Loralei.”

I gasped. “M… Me?” I asked, eyes wide.

Andy laughed, nodding, before opening the door and getting out, motioning to the driver’s seat. “It’s all yours, baby.”

I grinned, sliding over as he got into the passenger seat. I checked the mirrors, backing down my driveway before slamming the car into gear. It let out a throaty rumble as we sped off towards town, the windows half down, wind in our hair. I whooped from the driver’s seat, grinning, my eyes sparkling as I rounded a corner, whipping onto the main highway to town easily and slowing down once we met another car. I grinned at Andy, adrenaline making my hands shaky and my eyes wild. “How was that?” I asked coyly, trying not to let my voice shake.

Andy let out a breathy laugh. “Let me tell you, I don’t think I’d ever heard my car sound like that before.” He said, poking me in the ribs. “You sure know how to drive. Who taught you?!”

“CC, of course!” I giggled, turning towards the pavilion where he had met me a few days before. “He’s, like, a pro at driving. Real NASCAR material, he is.”

“I’ll take your word for it.” Andy said as I turned hairpin into a parking spot and killed the engine, tossing him his keys. 

“Good. Because, if you thought I drive crazy…” I let my sentence trail off into a giggle as I got out, going to sit on the back of his car as I waited for him to follow me. “Now. I’m gonna die if you don’t buy me a coffee, I swear.”

“We don’t want you dying, now do we?” He laughed. “Dying is bad.” He grabbed me off his trunk, picking me up wedding-style, and I squeaked as he adjusted me to where I was on his back. I could hear the smirk in his low laugh as he looked both ways and dashed across the street, holding onto my legs as he ran. “Watch out, coffee emergency!” Andy yelled as we passed through the crowded pavilion at Hot Topic to the gawks and stares of all the people. “This girl needs her coffee, watch out! It’s an emergency!”

I caught a glimpse of Gianna out of the corner of my eye and waved, laughing as Andy ran straight up to that same little café that I had gotten my mocha at last time. He carried me in, laughing, and I jumped off his back just as Janessa looked up, surprised to see me and even more surprised to see Andy. “Well, hello, dears!” She said, putting away a magazine and grinning, her eyes flitting to Andy. “What can Janessa get you, huh?”

“Uhm…” Andy looked at me with a look that clearly read “What’s even good here?”

I laughed, waving him off to go find us a seat and going up to the counter. “Andy wants a 20 oz white chocolate mocha, and I want a 16.” I told her, still smiling.

She looked at him out of the corner of her eye before loudly whispering to me. “Andy?!” She asked. “Like, Andy, your boyfriend? Honey, that’s not your boyfriend, that’s an angel, even I can see that!” I laughed, and she continued. “Like, when God was making HIS mold, he accidentally added a whole dump truck load of sexy! Why couldn’t God have given the rest of us some of that good looking charm right there?!” I shrugged, looking over to Andy, who was fidgeting with a stone tic-tac-toe board that was on our table, only resulting in dropping one of the heavy pieces on the floor and giving me a startled puppy dog look as he stooped down to pick it up. “Wait a minute, honey,” Janessa said, interrupting my train of thought. “Didn’t he cheat on you? I thought you said you didn’t need him anymore? I’m confused.” She put her elbows on the counter, resting her round face in her pudgy hands. “Tell me.”

“I don’t know, really.” I said, sighing. “He said he didn’t.”

Janessa shrugged. “Good enough for me! What I wouldn’t do to lay down with an angel like him, though, honey. If Juliet didn’t try to at least hit on him a teeny tiny bit… Well, then that girl is what we call lesbian.” She gave me a very serious look.

I laughed. “Okay, Okay, Nessa, I get it!” I shook my head as she made our coffees. “Maybe she did, maybe she didn’t, I still have to talk to her about it.”

“Talk to her, honey, I wanna know!” Janessa pleaded, putting our drinks on the counter. “Janessa needs a good story now and then.”

“Alright, will do.” I laughed, taking our drinks back to the table where Andy was giving the tic-tac-toe board a very stern look. “Here you go!”

I handed him his coffee, and he grinned, taking a sip and sighing. “Did you know,” He said suddenly, “that tic-tac-toe boards are, in fact, evil?”

I giggled. “Only to you.” I picked up one of the stone O’s and peeped through the hole in the middle, smiling. “See? No demons in this piece.”

“I guarantee you, if I had grabbed that piece, it would have bit me.” He laughed. “Evil, I tell you. This is why I don’t have one of these. I just play on paper.”

“You’re also not a coffee shop.” I pointed out, shaking my head with a laugh. 

Just then, Janessa walked up to our table, her little black apron tied as tight as she could get it, a hopeful look on her face as she ogled Andy. “Is there anything I can get you two?” She asked in a very suggestive voice, grinning at us and batting her eyelashes.

Andy stuttered uncomfortably as I laughed, taking a playful slap at Janessa. “You’re not a waitress, Nessa!” I laughed. “You’re making a line, look. All those people want their coffee.” I pointed back to the front counter, where she looked and gasped.

“I gotta go up there, honey, but I’ll be back!” She said, running behind the counter. “I’ll be back!”

Andy laughed nervously. “Well then… is she a friend of yours?” He asked.

“More or less.” I shrugged, watching as Nessa frantically made coffee after coffee to catch back up. “She’s such a ditz, though. She thinks you’re cute.” 

Andy blushed. “She… She does?”

“Of course, idiot.” I said, laughing. “Everyone does. Didn’t you know?”

“Not really…” He stammered, taking a sip of his coffee before almost spitting it back out. “Holy shit, that is hot!” He said with a hand to his mouth. 

“Of course it is!” I said, laughing even harder. “It’s coffee, Andy, what did you expect?!”

He shrugged, still swallowing rapidly. “Hothothothot!” He said, fanning his tongue, and I rolled with laughter.

“You’re such an idiot!” I said affectionately after he had stopped flailing. 

He stared disapprovingly at his coffee. “I dunno, maybe it’s just the drink.” He said, just as his phone rang and he checked the display, his face falling a notch as his eyes flicked to me. I don’t think he noticed, but I did.

“What is it?” I asked as he sent it to voicemail.

“It’s nothing.” He replied, smiling. That wasn’t his real smile, though. That was his forced smile, his crowd-smile, if you will. “I’ll talk to them later.” Before I had a chance to say anything, his phone rang again, and he sent it to voicemail again with a determined swipe of his finger. “Some people can’t take a hint, huh?” He laughed, turning off his ringer and shoving the phone in his pocket. 

“Some people are just clueless.” I agreed, smiling softly. “What do you say we ditch this place and have some fun?”

He grinned, jumping up from his chair. “Alright!” He said a little too loudly and a little too overexcitedly. “Let’s go… do something.” 

As we were leaving with our drinks in hand, Janessa waved from behind the counter, bustling out to meet us before we got out the door. “Uh-uh, honey, stop right there!” She said, holding out a pudgy hand and cocking her hips. “I don’t think so. You, sir,” she said, pointing to Andy with a wink, “are not leaving until you sign…. This!” She pulls out a picture of him, 8 x 10 and in a gilt wood frame with the glass off. “Andy Biersack. I mean, who’d have thunk that little ole Janessa would meet a hot chunk of vocal cords like this man?”

Andy looked around, both amused and uncomfortable, producing a sharpie from the pocket of his jeans and signing over the picture. “Uhm… There you go?” He said, laughing. 

“Why, thank you, honey!” She said, acting as if him giving her the picture back was better than ten thousand Christmases. She reached up and put a hand on his chest, leaning close to his face. “Now take care of Loralei for me, okay, sugar?”

“Uhm… Okay…” He said, smiling and backing up, inching closer to me. “It was nice to meet you!”

“Mighty nice meeting you, Mr. Biersack.” She said, winking and giving him her version of a seductive wave. “Please, do come again!”

Andy raced out that door faster than I’d ever seen him leave, and I laughed. “So that’s Janessa.” I said, smile-smirking.

“She’s… She seems… Nice.” He stumbled awkwardly as we walked back to his car and got in, me back in the familiar passenger seat. 

“She’s such a sweetheart, but she’s had a fan-crush on you since before it was legal.” I said, just to watch him squirm. 

“That’s…. creepy.” He decided as he shifted into reverse and pulled out of the parking spot. “Where did you want to go?”

“I don’t know…” I laughed. “Surprise me.”

Andy thought for a minute as we drove aimless circles around the block. “Everywhere I can think of is in another state.” He said, finally breaking our circle parade and shooting off towards the residential. “No matter what we end up doing, I need to stop in at my house first really quick, okay?”

“Yeah, sure.” I said, smiling. I hadn’t really been to Andy’s house very much – it wasn’t really a place you went. Even though it was my boyfriend’s house. It had kind of always been out of the question. 

But anyways, we were at his house in maybe 5 minutes, and I stepped out in front of a very normal looking house on a very normal looking road. The only really remarkable thing about his house was that the door was painted with a hugely realistic imitation of Andy’s warpaint. From when they, y’know, still wore it. It was actually really cool, for a door. He opened it without a sideways glance and headed inside. I, of course, followed him in. “You haven’t been in here in a really long time.” He said, turning to me. “I’m gonna give you the grand tour.”

“The grand tour?” I echoed. “Uhm… Okay.” 

I laughed as he took my hand, pulling me out of the entryway. “This is my living room.” He said, pointing to a room with a black suede leather couch and burgundy curtains, a dark wood coffee table in the middle and a huge flat screen mounted on the wall. He pulled me on before I could gawk, spinning around a corner and grabbing my shoulders, pointing me into a very normal looking kitchen with a reasonable amount of mess piled in the sinks. “And the kitchen.” He whirled me around to face a wall on the other side. There was a set of two doors on the right, a hallway on the left. “The hall leads to the bedrooms and bathroom and some closets. These two doors are a closet and a basement. The basement door is on the left side. DO NOT open the left door and think it is the closet or the right door and think it is the basement. It’s definitely bad mojo.” He nodded solemnly and let go of my shoulders, smiling at me with this big, dopey grin. “Welcome to mi casa.” 

I laughed. “Why thank you. You’re such a great host, Andy.” 

He nodded again, smiling at me for a moment before turning around and dashing down the hallway. I followed, naturally, and he took a sharp and sudden turn to the left, entering a bedroom. His bedroom, naturally, who else’s would it be? There was an artfully unmade bed with too many pillows, a desk strewn with papers, a desk chair with a jacket hung across the back, an overflowing hamper full of his clothes, and a nightstand with a picture of Andy and me on it, in a dusty frame, next to a plain looking lamp. I don’t know what shocked me about it so much, but… It was his room. I don’t know. I sat on the edge of his bed as he burrowed around in his closet, finally pulling his head out and turning in circles before he found what he was looking for: The jacket on his chair. “Well, shit.” He said, laughing. “I found it.”

I laughed, and he came to sit by me. “You’re an idiot, Andy.” I said, shaking my head.

“Yes,” He purred. “But I’m YOUR idiot, aren’t I?” 

“Always.” I smiled as I leaned up and kissed him. “You’re my idiot.”

“True. Yours alone.” He grinned down at me. That grin sent shivers up my spine and the butterflies straight back to his stomach. I’m pretty sure his smile was the cause of all global warming.

Which makes it sound like a bad thing. But it’s not, I promise you. It’s wonderful and beautiful and perfect and GAH.

I leaned into his shoulder, smiling as he put his arm around me. “So where do you wanna go?” He asked after a minute, his chin on my head.

“I really don’t want to go anywhere.” I admitted, nuzzling into his collarbone. 

He sighed contentedly, kicking off his boots and pulling us both back to lay on his bed. “We don’t have to go anywhere, if you don’t want to.”

“Okay.” I dropped my arm contentedly over his chest, tracing circles in the fabric of his shirt. “Then let’s stay here.”


	17. A Confession? ;)

Andy and I had been lying there for what felt like mere minutes, but the sun was already beginning to set. My eyelids drooped, my head still on his chest, my hand spread across his stomach. He had one hand on my hip, the other on my stomach, massaging circles through the fabric of my shirt. I was tired and content, the smell of Andy comforting me and lulling me to sleep, when there was a soft, muted buzzing from his nightstand. He reached over to pick up his phone, briefly checking the caller ID before sending it to voicemail and putting it back down. All I saw of his screen was that the caller’s name started with J. Even that letter, that one letter, sent dread straight to my stomach. It could be Jinxx. It could be Jake. But the only name in my mind was Juliet, and it burned in the front of my brain with a passion. “Who was that?” I asked sleepily.

“Nobody important.” He nuzzled his face into my hair. “I can talk to them later.”

“Am I getting in the way of something?” I asked, pulling away from him just a fraction of a centimeter. 

“No, no, fuck no!” He assured me quickly. “They’re the ones getting in the way, Lo. It’s just you and me right now, not them, okay?”

“Alright.” I smiled, moving back to my previous position, but the thought of Juliet calling him this late had put a damper on my mood and woken me right back up. I mean, fuck, she’s supposed to be my best friend. What am I supposed to do? I can’t ask him straight out, because if it were false, it would break his heart I’d think that low of him. I can’t ask Juliet straight out either, really, without putting our friendship in danger. I honestly didn’t know what to think or who to ask…

Maybe I’m being paranoid. Maybe it’s Jinxx. I mean, they have lots of band-y stuff to work on together, right? Or Jake. I mean, lead guitarist and lead singer have to collaborate all the time… Right? Just a few minutes later, he gets another call, and he again begrudgingly picks up the phone. It’s the same mysterious J on the caller ID. “Fuck.” He said quietly. “Some people don’t know how to take a hint.” He swipes to answer. “Hello?” he asks tiredly.

I hear a faint but distinctly feminine voice on the other end of the line. “Andy?” I hear her say, her voice wavering a notch, and I lose it. I’d know that voice anywhere – Juliet. I fucking knew it. I sit up violently, tears gathering in my eyes, and move to sit on the other end of the bed, my back against his headboard. 

“Yeah, yeah, no, I’ve got to go. No… Okay, bye.” He hangs up, his eyes turning to me with a look of confusion. “What, Loralei?” He asks softly, moving to come towards me.

I hold a hand out, stopping him dead in his tracks. “Juliet?” I manage to choke out. “Why is Juliet calling you? This late at night?”

“I…” He stutters over his words, searching for an explanation. 

I sniffed back a sob. “God, Andy.” I whispered. “How long?”

“No, no, it’s not like that!” He finally managed. 

“Then what is it like?” I seethed bitterly, looking him straight in the eyes. “What the fuck is it like, Andy? What is she to you?”

“She’s… she’s my… She’s a friend!” He said, staring at me with wild emotion in his eyes. “She was there for me, when you and I weren’t talking. She’s just a friend.”

I stared him hard in the eye for a minute, tears gathering in mine and reflecting in his baby blues. I pulled out my phone, going to Twitter where I’d bookmarked that #isitlove picture that Juliet had shared. “Then what’s this?” I asked quietly, not a trace of emotion in my voice. “Is it love? Is it, Andy?”

“It’s not… No, Loralei, it’s not.” He said back, just as quietly. “I love you, okay? I don’t know what she was doing, hashtagging that.” 

I shook my head, tears freefalling down my nose. “I just don’t understand…” I murmured as Andy shifted uncomfortably on the bed. “What’s going on, Andy? Tell me the truth.”

He shifted again. “Well, she’s just a…”

“Andrew Dennis Biersack. Tell me the fucking truth.” I said through clenched teeth, my hands balled up into fists. 

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. When he looked back up, there were tears in his eyes. “Okay. I’ll tell you the truth. You really sure you want to know?”

“I have to. I have to know.” I whispered. “What is it between you two?”

“I… We… I don’t know how to say it.” He shook his head. “We had a thing, a long time ago. We kind of mutually broke it off. It was over, and it had been for a long time. I think I was 15 or 16 when that happened, if you get my drift, but then you came into my life, and we were doing so amazing, and then… Well, you stopped talking to me.” He looked at me, pain in his eyes, and I realized where he was going with this.

“You fucked her.” I whispered under my breath, eyes widening. “I wasn’t around for a week, and you screw my best friend. You couldn’t fucking apologize or anything, you had to just fuck the next chick in like. Was that it?” He wouldn’t even meet my gaze, his eyes on his hands, tears falling down his face. “How was it, huh? Maybe you should do it more often, fuck her, cuz you sure as hell won’t be seeing me.”

I got up, my pride stinging, and grabbed my coat from the post of his bed. “Loralei, wait!” he said, reaching out and grabbing me by the sleeve. His voice was choked with tears, and I couldn’t even bring myself to look at him. “Please, let me explain. It wasn’t like that!”

“Let me fucking go, Andrew.” I spat at him, yanking my sleeve back. “I’m leaving.”

I walked out, down the hall and slammed the front door behind me before I realized it. Andy had driven me here. I was fucked as how to get home without calling CC, and knowing him, he was barely sober enough to realize that his phone was ringing right now. The full weight of the situation was sinking in, Andy having fucked Juliet, me having no way home but that stupid, cheating bastard, Andy not being whatever we were before anymore, and that’s when the tears finally came in full force. A wracking sob tore from my body, screaming, animal and primal, across the night. I put my head in my hands and tried to stifle my crying so as not to wake the whole neighborhood, but they still tore loud and roaring from my throat. Andy came down the steps, his head hanging, tears falling down his face. “I’m so fucking sorry, Loralei.” He whispered as he opened the door. “I didn’t think it was gonna go that far. She just… She… I didn’t think.”

“Yeah, I’d fucking say.” I sobbed into my hands, not looking at him. I couldn’t. I couldn’t bring myself to look at him.

“You’ll never forgive me.” He stated, not really a question, but I shook my head anyways to confirm it. “I don’t expect you to. I don’t deserve it.” He collapsed onto the step next to me, his head in his hands and his elbows on his knees. “I screwed everything up. Again.” 

I was seriously considering just getting up and walking the miles home. I was also considering stealing his car, but then I’d have to see him again, to give it back. For now, I hugged my knees to my chest, eyes squeezed shut, doing everything I could to slow my breathing. I hiccupped out a sob and opened my eyes, watching as the sound of me crying ripped Andy apart. He deserved it, though, and for all the pain he’d caused me, this was nothing. I mean, he fucked Juliet, for God’s sakes! “Loralei…” He whisper – whimpered next to me. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

“To hell, you are.” I seethed back, turning away from him.

“Please stop crying.” He whispered, a sob choking his words. “I hate it when you cry. Loralei, please…”

“No.” I whispered back, with enough conviction to knock him dead in his tracks. “What if I went behind you and… And fucked Ashley?” I asked, raising my head to watch his reaction. “Would you forgive me?”

He looked shocked. “You didn’t, did you?” He asked.

“What if I did?” I shot back.

“I’d be… I’d be devastated. And pissed. And it would take me a really long time to forgive you. That’s like fucking my brother.” 

“Then you get how I feel.” I said finally, turning away from him. I honestly couldn’t believe I was still here talking to him. I figured I’d have played the strong girl already, and just walked away. “How could you?” I whispered, my head going back into my hands. 

“Loralei, I’m…”

“Do not fucking apologize again or I will rip your head off.” I seethed. He reached over to try and put a hand on my back, and I stood up in a flurry, glaring at him. “Do not touch me. Don’t even talk to me. I’m done.”

I did it. I started to walk away, down his driveway, towards my house. I knew I wouldn’t get far, but at this point, I didn’t really care. Before I even got to the end of his driveway, I was on my knees, a sob wracking my body. My head was in my hands, on my knees as I bit my lip, trying not to be too loud, but it came anyways. As the scream ripped from my throat, Andy was at my side, a hand on my back. “Loralei, baby, I’m so fucking sorry. Oh my god, what have I done? Please, please, look at me. Come back inside, okay, baby?”

“No.” I shook his hand off, standing painstakingly slow. “Leave me the fuck alone, Andy.” And with that, I started to walk away, my head held as high as I could.

I left him like that, standing in his driveway with tears pouring down his face, powerless but to watch as I left. He didn’t try to come after me again, luckily, because I’m convinced my resolve would have crumbled had he tried. I didn’t even know where I was going. Home was miles away, it’d take all night to walk back, so that was kind of a far shot. As for Juliet’s... that’d be as painful as seeing Andy. So I just walked…. Until I figured out who I could call. I pulled my phone out of my bag, scrolling to the bottom of my contacts list and pressing call. He answered on the third ring with a sleepy voice. “Loralei?” He murmured into the phone. “Are you okay?”

“Vic…” I cut off a sob. “Where are you?”

“I’m still in town. But are you okay?” He sounded genuinely worried.

“No. Can you come and get me?” I sniffled. “I’m in kind of a bad situation right now.”

“I’ll be there soon, darling. Where are you?”

I looked at the street signs under the dim light. “15th and Keaton.” I replied shakily. “I’m under the signpost.”

“Alright.” He replied tiredly, a note of worry still in his voice. “I’ll be there soon.”

And with that, he hung up. I sat under the signpost as I told him I would, curled up into a little ball, my purse clenched between my fists. I knew my makeup was probably a circus and a half right now, and my hair, too, and I really didn’t want Vic to see me that way, but there’s nothing I could do about it. Everyone else I could think of was probably drunk or in on the situation. I’m just lucky he was still in town. He was scheduled to have left yesterday, but by some grace of God, he had stayed a day longer, just when I needed him. I sat under the lamp for maybe five minutes before I heard the rumbling of a motor in the distance, headlights shining around the curve in the road. I stood up when his car came into view, wiping tears off my face. He pulled up to the curb, worry in his eyes. “Get in, darling.” He said, and I did, walking around to the passenger side of his car. “What happened to you?”

“Andy happened.” I sniffled. “He… He fucked my best friend.”

“Oh my god.” He leaned over to hug me, pulling me into his arms. “That bastard, what the fuck?”

“I know.” I shook my head gently, leaning into Vic’s hug, thankful for him being there. “I don’t know. I just need to get away from here. From him.”

“No, no, I understand.” He let go of me, keeping his hands on my shoulders. “You’re gonna be okay now, darling. It’s all gonna be okay.”

I nodded, reaching up to wipe a tear, and he let go of me, starting his car. “Where do you need to be?” He asked.

“I don’t know… Home, I guess.” I replied, giving him my address, and he nodded. “Sorry I woke you up.” I said after we drove in silence for a minute.

“Hey, no, it’s okay.” He smiled softly. “It’s worth being woken up for, to come get you. I don’t mind. I’m kind of flattered you’d think of me.” 

“CC’s probably drunk.” I shrugged. “I didn’t know who else to call.”

“As long as I’m here, I’m a good option.” He said. “You can call me whenever you need to, okay? Except, like, in the middle of a set or something.”

“Okay.” I smiled a little bit. “Thanks, Vic.”

“Always.” He ran a hand through his thick brown curls, smiling at me out of the corner of his eye.


	18. The Next Morning

I woke up relatively happy. The sun was shining through my window and everything, for just a brief second, was as it should be. The night’s memories flooded back to me, a tirade of bad emotions and horrible recollections, and all my happiness drained away as if someone had just pulled the plug. I lay in bed, my eyes open and unfocused, my emotions running wild as I gripped at my sheets with a resolute despair. Andy had… He had cheated on me. Fucked Juliet. Denied it until forced to say otherwise. All because he was mad at my brother. I lay in bed for quite awhile, paralyzed with the thought until I heard CC knock softly on my door. “Wolfy?” He called softly. “You came in awfully late. Are you awake?”

I sniffled. “Yeah.” I replied quietly, finally taking my eyes from the ceiling to sit up and wrap my arms around my knees. “You can come in.”

He opened the door, peeking his head in before he actually came to sit on the edge of my bed. “What’s wrong?” he asked, eyes searching me for answers.

“It’s Andy.” I managed, shaking my head as tears leapt back to my eyes. “He… He did something horrible. I hate him.”

“You don’t mean that.” CC smiled. “You just spent a long time convincing me to like you and Andy being a thing!”

“He fucked Juliet.” I spat, my head curled between my knees as another sob hit my body, making my small frame shake violently. “That week we didn’t talk, he went and fucked Juliet.”

CC’s eyes widened, then hardened into a cold, calculated rage. “That bastard.” He whispered, moving closer to me to give me a hug. He pulled me to his chest, eyes burning bright. “That fucking bastard. I’m sorry, Wolfy. Want me to talk to him?”

“God no!” I squeaked into his chest. “Last time you two talked, you were gonna punch him. I don’t want that.”

He nodded. I couldn’t see the nod, but I felt his head move from its rest atop mine. “Okay, I’ll leave him be. For now.” He shook his head. “That fucking man-whore. I mean, what the fuck? I thought he loved you, Loralei!”

“I thought so, too.” I whispered, shaking my head to get a tear off my lash. “I loved him, Chrissy.”

“I know, Wolfy.” He said quietly. “I know you did.” We were quiet for a minute before he let me go. “I know what you need. We’re going out to breakfast.” I looked at him in shock. We never actually went out to eat! We’d call in orders, but we only really went out when one of us got dumped. Which, I guess, was fitting for this situation. “I mean it. Get up, get dressed, we’re going to Shari’s.”

With that, he left my room. I sat on my bed for a minute before I went to my closet, opening it and looking for something half-presentable. I ended up in yesterday’s skinny jeans, a faded BVB shirt that CC had given me a long time ago, and my studded kitten heeled booties. I put on eyeliner and mascara, and that was it. I pulled my leather jacket over it and headed downstairs to where CC was already standing by the door in a faded Metallica shirt and jeans. All in all, we were almost matching, but I didn’t care. “Ready.” I said, pulling a studded leather cuff out of my purse and lacing it over my wrist as a final last-minute attempt at jewelry. “To Shari’s?”

“Yep.” CC smiled, grabbing the keys and heading out to his car, me following him. “Stuffed hashbrowns? Chicken fried steak? Strawberry lemonade?” He asked, and I nodded. This was typical dumpee-food, as we had agreed on in an unwritten pact a long time ago. He pulled out and I plugged my iPod into his stereo, blaring a Marina and the Diamonds song maybe a tad bit too loud. Yes, I know, for once I went pop, but it happens sometimes, okay? 

I sung along quietly with the first few verses, and by the time we hit main downtown, we were both singing to it. I hadn’t pegged CC as a Marina lover, but hey, it’s never too late to learn to love her. “It almost feels like a joke to play out the part, when you are not the starring role in someone else’s heart! You know I’d rather walk alone, than play a supporting role, if I can’t get the starring role.” 

Marina’s lyrics, again, hit right home with me. I loved her music so much that it’s not even funny, but the song had barely ended by the time we pulled up into the crowded Shari’s parking lot and killed the engine. CC and I walked inside and ordered a far-back booth for the both of us to share. The waitress, an older lady, maybe in her 40’s, definitely didn’t know who we were, which was a huge plus on a day such as today. I slumped into the booth with a sigh as CC sat opposite me. “Now tell me what happened.” He asked after we gave our order.

“We were at Andy’s house last night, and it was maybe like 10:30…” I started. “And he got a call. He sent it to voicemail, but then they called back, and… It was Juliet. I asked him what was going on, and he said that they were just friends but I could tell he was lying and I told him to tell me the truth… And fuck, did he.” I shook my head, vowing to myself not to cry in public and ruin my eyeliner. “And I called Vic to take me home.”

“Vic?” CC questioned. “Like, Vic Fuentes? Pierce the Veil?”

“Yeah.” I nodded. “He was still in town. I woke him up.”

“I can’t believe he got out of bed to help you.” CC shook his head. “He’s such a nice guy. You’ve got a friend in him, you know?”

I nodded. We remained in silence for a moment before CC spoke up again. “Does Juliet know that you know?”

I shook my head. “She will in a second.” I grabbed my purse, pulling out my phone and pulling up our conversation. “Nice move, Jules. How was it?” I texted scathingly to her. “There. She knows now.”

“What did you say?” He asked suspiciously.

“Nothing she wouldn’t have said.” I replied. “I’d say all good things, but that would be a lie.”

“True.” He said.

She replied. “What? How was what?” 

I texted her back in two seconds flat. “Fucking Andy. How was it, Jules? Didja like him?”

CC coughed, and I put my phone away. He honestly hated it when people texted instead of talking to people. “Sorry.” I said, setting my phone down on the table. “I shouldn’t have started this at breakfast.”

“True yet again.” He nodded. “But it’s okay. I wanna watch this play out.”

I picked it up then, to see what she had said. “Oh my god.” One read. “You know?” And then “I’m sorry, Loralei, I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

“You didn’t mean to get undressed with my boyfriend and fuck him. Right.” I replied quickly before looking up at CC. “I can’t stand either of them right now.”

“You don’t have to stand them. Cut them off. You don’t have to see either of them.”

“But I do.” I replied, shaking my head. “You guys are going on Warped in less than a month, and I’m coming as your roadie, remember? Andy will be there.”

“Yeah, he will.” He admitted. “But you don’t have to talk to him. Ashley and I went a whole Warped without talking once. For stupid reasons.” He shook his head, smiling at old memories before turning his eyes to me. “And anyways, you’ve got like a thousand other tour buses you could be on, it sounds like. Vic’s? Hell, you could probably score a Kellin visit.”

“I haven’t even met him.” I laughed. “But yeah, there is the Screaming Mexicans.”

Juliet texted back before CC could say anything. “Look, Lora, I’m sorry. It just happened, okay? It’s in the past.”

I showed CC her text, smirking sadly. “It just happened.” I mimicked before texting her back, reading it to CC as I typed. “It just happens that friends don’t fuck friends’ boyfriends. And it just happens that I don’t ever want to talk to you again. I’d say fuck off, but it’d be a bit rhetorical at this point.”

CC smirked. “I like the way you think.” He said. “The fuck off bit was gold.”

“It was.” I said, pressing send and clicking my phone off just as our food came. CC, as usual, had ordered a stack of pancakes instead of toast with his hash browns and steak, resulting in what looked like too much food being brought to our table. I took a bite of my hash browns before I noticed CC had been, also, texting under the table. Fuck. I knew he could do that, text without looking, but still. “You’re talking to Andy.” I stated flatly. “What does Juliet’s fuck buddy have to say for himself?”

“All the usual suspects. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to fuck your sister AND her friend! You know how hard it is…’ What does he think we both are, sluts?” I laughed at even the thought of CC trying to be slutty. I honestly couldn’t see it. “Ooh, get this. ‘I still love her, you know. I made a mistake and I get that, but could you convince her to talk to me?’” He snorted. “What do you think, Lo? You want to give the friend fucker a second time around?”

“Nope.” I shook my head, biting into my toast. “Not particularly. Tell Mr. Biersack I’ll consider taking his friendship over his relationship.”

“I told him.” CC grinned, stuffing his face with pancake. The next message he got, he read aloud through a mouthful of food. “I never meant to hurt her like that, okay? I still love her… I don’t know what I’m gonna do without her.”

“You’re gonna get over me.” I said, texting him quickly. “He’s gonna have to get over me, right, CC?”

“True.” CC smiled. Andy didn’t text back, and so we got to finish the rest of our meal in silence. Well, relative silence. There was still all the small talk, but we shied away from the issue of Fuckboy. For now.


	19. Hurt Does Things To People, or, In Which Lo Gets Drunk and Goes on a Conquest

It was late that night, maybe midnight, maybe after. I took a sip from the cup in front of me, eyes closed as I relaxed on the couch. CC had already went to bed, but I sat here in thought still. My thoughts were almost pleasantly fuzzy, and I blamed it on lack of sleep. No matter how nice today had been, my thoughts kept straying… back to Andy. Fuck him, anyways. I didn’t need him… did I? No, I supposed not. I mean, I survived the first 16 years of my life without him, why stop now? 

Still, there was a dull ache in my chest, and I didn’t like it. What was it? I thought for probably longer than was strictly necessary before I figured it out – Hurt. The emotional wound still stung, I realized. He had broken my trust not once, but twice, and I had let him have that last time against CC’s judgement. I really should listen to CC more often… he knows what’s right.

So did Ashley, I realized. Ashley had lay it out straight that he wasn’t completely pro Andalei, either. (Twitter ship names are the best. Andalei. I laughed every time.) But anyways. I remembered the way that he tilted his head when he listened – actually listened – to all of my crazy problems. The crinkle of his eyes when he laughed at a story I told him, the tilt of his head as he questioned a stupid decision I’d made. He was always there for me. Why hadn’t I realized it before? 

Before my foggy brain even knew it, I was standing up, grimacing as I threw back what was left in my cup and grabbed my car keys. I just had to thank Ashley, I realized very suddenly. I had to thank him for everything he’d done for me. I slipped on my Vans that were by the door, grabbed my car keys, and prayed to God that my engine didn’t wake CC. Thankfully, as I stumbled into the leather interior and started it, backing down the driveway, it didn’t seem to stir him, and if it did, I was gone before he registered it.

It was a short drive to Ashley’s house, and the entire way there, I was thinking of more and more reasons I had to thank him. He was just such a nice person… Nicer than Fuckboy, anyways. I pulled into his driveway and tried to make heads or tails of his gate’s latch before just fumbling it open and knocking at his door. It took a minute, but he answered it, bleary-eyed and dressed in pajama pants. “Loralei?” He yawned sleepily, rubbing his eyes. “It’s like 2:30 in the morning, what’re you doing?”

“Ash…” I stumbled, but I kept getting sidetracked by his INCREDIBLE abs. How had I not noticed how hot he was before? He was scr… scr… agh, I forget the word. Delicious. After a minute, I remembered what I was doing, kind of. “I had to thank you for… for something, and…”

“You’re drunk.” He stated flatly, staring at me. “Come on, Lo, what’re you doing? CC doesn’t know you’re here, does he?”

I laughed. Why would CC know? “Nope!” I smiled. “He’s uh… sleeping like a baby. Baby CC!” I giggled again, suddenly getting a very vivid mental image of CC in a bonnet and an onesie. “Baby CC...”

Ash sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Come on in, Loralei, we can’t have you out like this.” He grabbed my arm firmly to lead me inside, and I giggled, my free hand flying to my mouth. “What is it this time?” He asked.

“You have warm hands.” I said, grinning like it was the best thing ever because, currently, it was. “Big, strong, pretty hands… Purdy hands.” I giggled at my own pun. “Purdy hands. Ashley Purdy hands. Warm, big and strong…” I leaned into his side and he looked down at me. No, what was that? He wasn’t smiling. 

“Loralei, you need sleep.” He said, staring at me sympathetically. “You’re drunk, you have to sleep. You don’t really want this.”

“I’m not as think as you drunk I am!” I protested, then giggled. “Oops. You know what I mean…”

“C’mon in, Lo.” He rolled his eyes, ushering me into his house, and I almost giggled again. Almost. It was more of a snort. “What’s so funny?”

“I’m in your house.” I states simply. “You let me in.”

“Of course I did. Now, seriously, let’s get you to bed.” One hand on my hip, he steered me through his house and to his bedroom, and I almost laughed again. “What NOW, Loralei?”

“We’re in your bedroom.” I giggled. 

“Yes, we are. Now, shoes off.” He ordered, and I slid them off complacently with what I hoped was a seductive look thrown his way. He rolled his eyes and motioned for me to hand him my jacket, which I did. 

My fingers fumbled with the button of my jeans, and he momentarily averted his eyes. I huffed – Since when had it been so hard to get the button to pop on my jeans? When I looked back up at him, he was shaking his head, a small smile on his face. “I can’t get it.” I mumbled, and then grinned. “You wanna do it for me?”

He rolled his eyes, huffing a sigh, and then reaching one hand out and popping it easily. Woah. He was good at this. I wiggled my hips out of the skinny jeans, kicking them onto my shoes before coming back face-to-face with Ashley. I smiled, almost stumbling as I reached a hand out to trace his OUTLAW tattoo on his stomach, and he tensed, swatting my hand away. “Loralei, you need to sleep.” He said, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides.

I pouted, sitting heavily on the bed. “You don’t want me?” I managed pathetically, tears sparking in my eyes. 

“Oh, I didn’t say that, honey.” He purred, smoothing my hair down. “But you’re drunk, and you don’t really want this. Bring it back up when you’re sober, okay?”

I shook my head, glaring at him from his bed. “You just don’t want me.”

“Sleep.” He almost smiled, trying to pull the covers back on his bed and motioning for me to lay down. I resisted for a moment, glaring and pouting, but then realized that his bed smelled good. It smelled… like him, and that’s really criminal. I leaned back into the pillows taking a deep breath as he pulled the covers over me. “We’ll see how you feel in the morning.

That didn’t sound so bad… And his bed was really comfortable. I snuggled down into the blankets and then turned back to him, suddenly worried. “Where are you gonna sleep? This is your bed!”

“I have a couch.” He said, winking. “I’ll be fine, don’t worry about me.”

“Okay.” I said softly, and yawned. His hand was on the doorknob before I registered he was leaving, and I shot straight up in bed. “Ash?”

He turned around slowly, a weird look on his face. “What, Loralei?”

“Don’t leave me.”

He stopped dead, staring at me, and then sighed, closing the door, coming back into the room. “Alright, I won’t. On one condition.”

“Hmm?”

“No sex, just sleeping.” He didn’t necessarily look like he wanted to be saying that, but… okay. If he thought I was really that drunk.

“Sleep.” I nodded, pulling up the side of the covers. He slipped in, a weird look on his face as he settled on one side of the queen bed, body stiff, trying not to touch me. I reached an arm over his stomach, resting my head on his chest and sighing contentedly. “Night, Puh… Purdy.”

He seemed to settle on this being the way it was gonna be, running a thumb over the back of my knuckles. “Get some sleep, Loralei.”


	20. PSA RYAN ROSS IS SO SMoL that has nothing to do with the story but it’s true so hey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m terribly sorry for the long hiatus I took from this story – Work is insane, school and starting for our varsity softball team makes it triple, and I had lost interest in the storyline until I recently reread it. I’ve been getting a lot of comments lately on it, so…. Here’s this. I know it doesn’t make up for the months I was away, but I hope it helps.   
> Love you forever and always,  
> ~ xoxomika

I woke up with the beginnings of what I knew was a headache and almost groaned, rolling over in bed. I took a deep breath, preparing myself to open my eyes, and froze. That wasn’t what my house smelled like. My eyes snapped open, looking around the room before the events of last night came back to me. I really did groan this time – I had tried to get Ashley to fuck me, albeit, not very effectively, and ended up sleeping with him. In his bed. Platonic sleeping was better than sex, considering my predicament with Fuckboy at the moment, but it didn’t make this part any better. Ashley. I looked around the room, quickly scanning for him, before I heard movement outside the bedroom and a muttered curse word, followed by a soft crash. He was already up. I rolled out of bed then before giving myself the once-over in his full-length mirror. My hair was flat, but luckily I had the pretense to wash my makeup off last night, so there wasn’t any smeared eyeliner. And then, I realized something. I wasn’t wearing pants. I groaned, facepalming myself and then completing another scan of the room to find… well, not my pants, but a pair of Ashley’s flannel pajama pants placed at the end of the bed, obviously for me. I begrudgingly pulled them on, tightening the drawstring so it’d even have the slightest chance of fitting, and then wandering out into the kitchen. 

Ashley was at the stove, cursing at what appeared to be scrambled eggs. I sat down in a chair at the kitchen table before he looked up and noticed me. “Morning, Sleeping Beauty.” He smiled, waving a spatula at me. “Sleep well?”

I groaned. “I’m an idiot.”

Ash laughed, putting eggs and toast on plates. “I’m not the one that said it, remember that.” He set a plate in front of me, sitting across the table before looking at me thoughtfully. “I suppose this means you don’t want to…”

“GOD no.” I shook my head furtively. “I shouldn’t even have come over…”

“Just be glad I didn’t take you up on your offer, then.” He gestured at me with his fork. “You’re very convincing when you’re drunk. It’s not like I was gonna say no for much longer.”

I smacked at him half-heartedly with my napkin. “Sure.” I managed, picking at my food. “Like you’d do that.”

He smirked. “You obviously don’t know me very well, Loralei.” He purred at me. “I’m a love-em and leave-em type of guy, and that’s all that was going through my head last night. Wake any guy up at god knows what time dressed like you were and see if that’s not what goes through his mind too, I dare you.”

I shook my head, looking anywhere but at Ashley. “Could we just forget last night happened?” I mumbled. “And maybe forget it when you talk to Chrissy?”

“Forget last night, sure.” He nodded, seeming to consider the idea. “But you owe me one.”

“What do I owe you?” I sighed around a mouthful of sausage.

“One.” He replied. “A favor, someday. Just trust me, I won’t forget.”

I rolled my eyes, squeezing them shut as I grumbled about my pulsing headache. I resigned to shoveling forkfuls of Ashley’s slightly-overdone eggs and kind-of-burnt toast into my mouth instead of thinking about what was going through CC’s head right about now. I knew he’d be livid when I got home – I left drunk, and didn’t tell him where I was? That’s a whole new level of low, even for me. I’m honestly surprised he hadn’t called everyone yet and organized a search party, complete with helicopters and search dogs. It certainly sounded like a very CC thing to do. Instead of dealing with that fuckload of mental problems, I finished the breakfast Ash had made (albeit he had made it in the hopes of getting laid. As if,) and made my way back to his bedroom, looking for my pants. I found them eventually, discarded along with my socks and shoes at the end of Ashley’s bed, almost folded in the way he’d put them down. God, he was such a gentleman, when he wanted to be. I pulled off his flannel pajama pants (they were soft, and I really didn’t want to take them off) and wiggled back into my skinny jeans, pulling on my socks and shoes before going back into the front room to face Ash again. “I… I should really be going home.” I mumbled, staring at my shoes.

Ash nodded, smiling at me. “Of course.” He stared at me for a second before continuing on. “Don’t feel bad about this, alright? No harm done.” 

“Yeah…” I echoed. “No harm done. Uhm… Thanks. For breakfast, I mean.”

He laughed quietly. “Of course, love.”

I shut his front door and hopped in my car, mentally kicking myself for ever thinking this was a good idea. I mean, I may have been drunk, but… Ash? Sleeping with Ash would be weird. He’s always been there for me, but I’d never thought of him outside of a strictly platonic context. Or had I? I sighed overdramatically as I pulled out of his driveway and in the direction of my house, pushing the fuckstorm of problems to the back of my mind again. I had bigger things to worry about right now – Like what to tell CC. Also, though less pressing, was when to talk to Andy again. I mean, he could wait for a few weeks. Years. Millennia. Forever. I really didn’t want to deal with him, but I knew I’d have to eventually. I mean, Warped Tour was 22 days away (not that I was counting) and I was going with CC as a roadie. And where there’s BVB, there’s Andy. The whole lead singer thing is pretty important. 

I pulled up to my house, the whole Andy thing still stirring around in my head, and parked my car, walking in the front door. “Lo!” CC said, running around the corner, a worried look on his face. “Where were you?!”

“Uhm…” I couldn’t think of a believable lie fast enough. “Ashley’s house.”

“Ash?” He asked, perplexed as I threw my jacket on the couch, flopping beside it melodramatically. “Like, my bassist, Ashley?”

“Yes…?” I had an arm over my eyes, but I could practically see his confusion growing into worry. “I didn’t do anything too terribly stupid, Ceece, stop worrying.”

I heard him sigh, and the squeak of the recliner as he sat down. “Okay, if you say so… Oh, Andy called me this morning.”

“And what did HE want?” I threw my arm to the side, opening my eyes and fixing CC in a stare.

“You, of course.” CC rolled his eyes. “He’s gonna try to smile and get you back, you know that, right?”

“Roger.” I replied, flapping my hand at him. “He’s gonna have to get like 10000x hotter before I fall for that one again.”

CC let out a snort. “I was just imagining our fans, if Andy was 10000x hotter. Like, they might combust.”

“Explosion.” I replied, giggling. “They’d explode, maybe, but not combust, I think.” 

“Yeah,” CC snorted, rolling his eyes. “We already get enough comments on our Youtube videos. ‘My ovaries exploded!’” He put on a falsetto, imitating the fans with crossed eyes and batted lashes before breaking sown laughing. “You think the rest of the band gets no attention NOW, just you wait and see…” 

“No waiting and seeing,” I reminded him, “cuz Andy’s not allowed to get hotter.”

“I can’t believe we’re sitting here talking about how hot my singer is.” I snorted – CC had a point. 

“Everyone’s a little gay for Andy, it’s alright, Ceece.” I winked, smiling knowingly.

“I never said that!” He fixed me with a mock-hurt expression, getting up to go grab coffee. “You’re the one that brought it up!”

“Gaaaayyyyy” I stage whispered as he left, laughing to myself. The only guy I knew that was straighter than CC was Ash, and that was saying a lot. Ashley was straighter than…. A very straight thing. Like a ruler. Or Pete Wentz’s hair. Speaking of hair, I ran a hand through mine and sighed, deciding to go upstairs and take a shower, wash myself of the memory of throwing myself shamelessly at Ash (not that I’d ever admit to CC that I did that, no matter how amazing/sexy/cocky Ash is). 

Undressing quickly, I sighed as I stepped under the hot spray. I relaxed the muscles in my shoulders as I thoroughly soaked my hair, let the jets of the showerhead pound into my back. Showers always cleared my mind, which was definitely needed. What was I even doing? Did I still love Andy? I mean, everyone loves Andy, just a little, but… Do I? He, to put it blatantly, fucked Juliet behind my back and then tried to play it off as a one-time mistake, because we were having an argument. But I did love him, I think… That brings up more problems though. Did I love him for his personality, his caring? Did I love him for his fame, his face, his body? God only knew how much I loved his body. Fingers scrubbing over my body as I was deep in thought, I hit a particularly sensitive area on my hips and let out a choked sigh, exploring the feeling of my own fingers hot on my skin, mirroring the patterns I remembered Andy tracing, imagining his breath hot on my neck, lips nipping and sucking at my sweet spot, the last few times we’d been together replaying in my head. I imagined him over the top of me, hair hanging in his eyes, eyes shut in bliss, strong hands on my hips, taking me, lips on my neck. I imagined myself, tracing his tattoos, he leaned up over the top of me to let me closer to them, fingers finding the letters on his stomach, tracing them and chasing the taste of him on my tongue. O-U-T-L-A-W…

Wait. My eyes snapped open, blood running cold even though I was still under the hot jets of the shower. Andy didn’t have an OUTLAW tattoo. The only person with that tattoo I knew was… Ashley. The very man I turned down cold this morning. I was starting to regret that now, starting to regret ever leaving his bed, starting to regret being all alone in the shower, having to imagine the hands on my body.

Honestly, there was nothing to stop me. Andy and I weren’t together, that chapter was over, and there was nothing really sitting in the way between me and whatever I wanted. Ash’s words from last night rang through my head, “Bring it back up when you’re sober.” I’m sober now, and… I still… I still want him. And, logically, I can have him. I turned the showerhead off and threw on my bathrobe, going to my bedroom and grabbing my phone, redialing Ashley’s number. “Hey, uhm… does your offer from last night still stand?”


	21. SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER OH YES I DID

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve lost count of the number of people who told me that this was a bad idea, but I like it. C: I had just realized this was the longest fic I’d ever written without explicit smut in it, and had to fix that, and also, I look at it as a “thanks-for-not-giving-up-on-me” present. Also, I'd had some people ask for it. It’s basically pure smut, so read away if you want, but you’ve been warned. If you can’t/don’t want to read smut, just know that Ash and Loralei frickle frackle. If you do read it, then have fun, my lovely smutterflies.   
> ~ xoxomika

Not more than twenty minutes later, I found my back pressed up against the door of Ashley’s bedroom, moaning into our kiss as he fumbled with the doorknob. As soon as he had blindly opened the door, his hands were on my hips, leading me back to the bed, my knees buckling as I hit the edge of the mattress, his weight solid and perfect on top of me. I caught his bottom lip between mine, tugging on it gently, and he growled softly in the back of his throat, hands rubbing circles into the sensitive spots on my hips. I gasped, his lips separating from mine to find my throat, kissing my pulse point before biting gently at the crook of my neck. “You want this?” He asked one last time, eyes blown with lust, his hands finding the button on my jeans. “You’re absolutely sure?” 

Truthfully, I didn’t know. I wasn’t absolutely sure and I wasn’t about to lie, so I just answered him by reaching one of my hands between us and tracing a bold line up the zipper of his jeans, listening to him bite back a sound as I tapped the button, undoing it as he hastily returned to doing the same to me. And just like that, he was gone. He kissed my collarbone, trailing open-mouthed kisses down my chest as he unbuttoned my shirt. I kicked my jeans and shoes off in one swift motion, slowly coming undone under his fingertips, and all I could think was that this feels right. His calloused hands running trails of goosebumps over my skin, leaving me arching up into his touch before he’d even done anything. This is how it was supposed to be. 

He ground down onto my hips as I pulled at his boxers, making me huff in annoyance and he chuckle darkly as it took me more time then I’d like to get them off of him. As soon as the last layer of clothing between us was removed, he sat back for a second to look at me, really look at me, and I tried to imprint the picture of him kneeling above me into my brain. His legs were on either side of mine, lips slightly parted, eyes dark with lust, hair messed up, tattoos in relief against his flush skin, and hands itching to reconnect with my body. I knew I probably didn’t look much different, but what got me was the look of want, of need, on his face. I whimpered softly in the back of my throat, cuz fuck, was that hot, and then there were lips on mine, a hand on my breast, a thumb brushing across my nipple and making me arch into his touch, gasping softly. Ash just watched me for a moment with dark eyes and I shivered slightly under his gaze. Ash crawled after me, slowly and gracefully like a predator. He ran his hands up my legs, spreading them. He stopped at my thighs, kneading the muscle there with his fingers.

“I really love your legs,” Ash said, his voice even lower and more gravel-like than usual.

“Yeah?” I asked, smirking a bit, my voice coming out breathier than I had meant it to.

“Mhm,” Ash murmured, bending to kiss and bite at my inner thighs. I stifled my moan, biting my fingers and subduing it to a muffled whimper. “Don’t do that,” Ash said, punctuating his words with a nip to my thigh. “I wanna hear you, Lo. Scream for me, baby.”

“I… I want you, Ash,” I gasped, mind gone, babbling as he nipped at my thighs. “Please, Please, Ashley…”  
Ash let out a shaky breath that sounded suspiciously close to a moan before climbing back on top of me. Our lips found one another again, tongues dancing, both of us moaning when we felt our bodies slide against each other. I couldn’t keep my hands off Ashley. I wanted to feel every part of him. I ran my hands down his back, his sides, tugged at his hair. I ran my hands over Ash’s back again, digging the blunt ends of my nails in and feeling the muscles of his back move as Ash grinded against me.

My hands travelled lower, teasing at Ash’s ass. Ash let out a sound of pleasure and his hips bucked suddenly. I flicked Ash’s mouth languidly with my tongue, keeping the same pace as the movement of our hips. It was amazing, but I needed more.

“Ash,” I panted, lips moving against Ashley’s. “Fuck me.”

Ash moaned, sounding completely debauched. He pulled back a little to look at me. “Are you sure?”

“God, yes,” I all but moaned out. 

“Not yet, wait just a little longer, baby.”

My need for Ash to fuck me, right fucking now, just grew with the dropped pet name. I pushed his chest and sat up, pushing Ash so he was sitting back. I wrapped my hand around Ash’s cock, effectively silencing the protests he was about to make and instead eliciting a delicious string of muttered curse words from his lips. “Oh fuck, Loralei,” He moaned into the crook of my neck as I dragged the pad of my thumb over his tip, listening to him come undone below me. I reached behind me blindly and found a condom on his bedside table, opening it and sliding it over his cock with one fluid motion of my hand.

“I told you I wanted this,” I moaned into his ear, straddling his hips and before he could say another word, I sunk down onto his cock. 

“Oh fuck,” Ash moaned, gripping onto my shoulders tightly as I took him in inch by inch.

He bottomed out, moaning and unable to move for a second as I adjusted. I was completely filled and Ash felt like hot steel inside of me. I rocked slightly and, oh, he was fucking velvety too.

“Oh hell, Ash, you feel so good.”

Ash just moaned his agreement, rocking back up into me and mouthing along the side of my neck. I lifted myself, slowly at first until I found a good rhythm. We kissed again, tongues sliding over eachother sinfully but soon we could only pant into each other’s mouths. Ash’s nose brushed my cheek, lips brushing mine every so often. Ash dug his nails into my back, and I stifled another moan. “Don’t,” Ashley panted. “I want to hear you.”

I moaned loudly at that, hands gripping the muscles of Ash’s back tighter. Ash wound his fingers into my hair, gripping tightly and pulling until I tipped my head back to expose my throat. He licked a stripe up my throat, leaving a shining trail and I didn’t even think about trying to stifle the broken sounds that were falling from my mouth. My head was tipped back, eyes closed in bliss as Ashley worshipped my neck with his tongue.

“So beautiful,” Ash murmured against my throat. “You have no idea.”

Ash unwound his fingers from my hair, running his hand down the back of my neck and over my shoulder. I reopened my eyes so I could watch Ash. His hair was slightly sweaty and a few strands clung to his forehead. His cheeks were flush and lips spit-slick and parted. I bent down to mouth along Ash’s jaw, tasting him, and his eyes fluttered briefly shut as I did. Ash’s hips stuttered as I ground down on top of him, and his eyes snapped open. “Loralei, I’m gonna… You should…” 

I pulled up off of the top of him, sinking down to rest between his thighs, taking off the condom and taking the head of his cock into my mouth. He watched me through lidded eyes, back arching off the bed as he fought not to buck into my mouth. I took as much of his length as I could, deepthroating him, my eyes watering as his hand found its way to the back of my head and he pulled me closer with a final moan as he came down my throat, pulling my hair as I swallowed around his cock. As I came up off of him, the only sounds in the room were that of both of our harsh breathing mixing together with the fan of his AC. Our eyes were locked, me still sitting between Ash’s legs, him sprawled out on the mattress before I crawled up and kissed him chastely on the lips. He accepted the kiss with a tired air, humming softly against my lips as I lay down next to him, exhausted on top of the sheets. 

“That was…” He trailed off in the middle of the sentence, sounding utterly wrecked.

“I know,” I replied, my voice hoarse and gravelly. My eyes were beginning to drift shut as I curled into his side, sleep threatening to overtake me. I trailed my fingers over a star tattooed on his arm, sighing softly and finally closing my eyes, his evening breaths lulling me to slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry, I'm vvv awkward at writing smut. Tell me what you think!   
> ~xoxomika


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